http://full-stop.blogspot.com

moving on

2006-11-07T06:26:00.000-08:00

whatever.

i'm not going to write here anymore.the name of my blog is so...eww.full-stop.

so boring...and so final.

indeed, we must all retain hope in times of crisis..................

i dont make any sense, yes i do.

http://tentativity.livejournal.com/

see you there.

-

2006-11-03T18:52:00.000-08:00

because i have nothing to write about, and because i am rather much compelled to post something here, i shall come up with a list of words that i have learnt recently:

surreptitious
extol
rendezvous
emulate
debonair

...i do not remember them all, but i must shove more of them up to my brain, lest my already-weakened vocabulary diminishes into nothing-ness in a matter of weeks.

SPEAK, USE AND RIGHT GOOD ENGLISH... yeah whatever i'm out.

no end to it all ?

2006-10-19T07:01:00.000-07:00

for the past two days, i have been the saddest, most pathetic person in my entire school.

i think.

i'm just too upset to do anything.i have not been sleeping or eating well, and just to open my mouth and talk was a task deemed impossible.it must have been really hard for anyone to communicate with me.sigh.

today was kind of better, but i still feel horrible.. like my heart was being continually stabbed, and the blood still flowing and flowing and flowing, as if there wasn't any end to it.

has my sadness passed on, or is my melancholy still unrealized?or have i learnt not to show such a side of me to others?unlikely so.. i know that i'm childish and will never really grow up.i think i like it this way though.

i should stop posting all these things.they don't even make much sense anyway.i'm just doing what was expected of me(according to michy), thinking for such a long time and sometimes being unable to come to a conclusion

poem

2006-10-17T06:50:00.000-07:00

i don't want to discuss my feelings, be it now, later, or for ever.just don't probe.i've written a poem, and i think it tells you all that you need to know.of course, you can't take it literally.something rather like literature, which requires analysis at some points.ah well, that's just what i think anyway.

it's untitled, and is after this sentence.

I tell myself to stand strong and tall
but against my will, tears still fall
when, ever, will i begin to learn
that success is most difficult to earn?
and that i'm just special -
for me to win takes more than just my simple will

I'm a failure, let down self and all
the path is more than just a slow, long crawl
to get what i want, what i desire most
for what i currently have is far from close
Falling, picking up, falling yet again
when i think the sun shines it starts to rain

uneveness, bumpy patches on the road i've failed to see
others did, not warning me, jumped over in glee
there, they made past the dirt and the muck
while i'm stuck there, resigned to Lady Luck
the seeds of maturity i had failed to sow
now, watered by my tears they finally grow

it's been too long, and too hard for me to bear
i'm sorry friends, of my inability to care
made this way, sensitive and thinking too much
easily brought down to tears by even the finest touch
i hope my seedlings of maturity will one day be a tree
they may not, but i still thank you all for loving me
-

rather imperfect?it's raw.. only minor alterations put into this version to clean it up.nevermind.you are free to comment on it.just don't ask me whats wrong or tell me to cheer up.

survey, yet again.i like it though yay

2006-10-11T07:38:00.000-07:00

tagged by huijun

1 single, taken or crushing?- single
2 are you happy with your life now?- hell no
3 when you meet the right person, will you fall in love with him fast? - i suppose so.when i realise that he is The Right Person, that is
4 have you ever had your heart broken?- wow i didn't know muscles could be broken
5 do you believe there are some circumstances where cheating love is acceptable?- huh what cheating love?
6 Would you take someone back if he cheats on u?- nah.if you treasure someone, you wouldn't cheat on him/her.
7 have you ever talked bout marriage with another before?- yah, with inez.it got so serious we suddenly went 'hey what the heck, we're just 14'
8 do you want children?- no, for they are annoying and noisy
9 how many?- 0
10 would you consider adoption?- maybe?if i'm adopting a pet, that is
11 if someone likes you right now, what do you think is the best way to let you know his feelings?- hmm...write me some nice letter/poem/song or just tell me, in the sweetest way possible!(i'm just giving stupid standards.no one would ever like me anyway)
12 do you enjoy getting into a relationship?- ask me after i have like 10 boyfriends(not going to happen)
13 be honest, what is the furthest you and your ex did?- i don't have one
14 do you believe in love at first sight?- more of infatuation.what is love, anyway?
15 are you romantic?- unsure, but i love romantic people!
16 do you believe you can change someone?- have yet to test myself on this
17 if you could get married somewhere, where would it be?- not in view of my family?bah whatever i don't really care
18 do you easily give up when you are fighting?- usually not.i like crushing them.
19 do you have feelings for someone right now?- what sort of feelings huh
20 have you ever wished that you have had someone but you messed it up?- why would i wish for myself to mess up the someone that i want to have?
21 have you ever broken a heart?- how do you break one?by means not achieveable by me, thats how!
22 if one day your best friend fall in love with the girl/boy you deeply in love with, what would you do?- if it's my boyfriend i'd ask him to choose.if it's a crush i'd give up
23 are you missing someone right now?- no

now you have to name 5 of your friends to do this survey in their blogs.
-chatty
-shiping
-shinny
-alicia
-yethong

fateful friday

2006-10-06T21:49:00.000-07:00

nothing's new.i get thrown into this emo state all the time.and the things that i worry about are always the same.it's plain amazing, the way i conjure up this ability in me to depict my misery and all my suffering(of a type that doesn't vary) time and again.

so i shall forget about being so darn... inconsolable.it can never be helped.

i've been living half of my days at Bishan library this week, to study for the exams.i find it disturbing, when students from some particular secondary schools come over and place their ungrateful bottoms on the carpeted ground and start yelling and screaming their heads off.very ironic, no?maybe these idiots can't read and just entered the library because it has air-con and cafes and other people like them.

at the library yesterday, something unpleasant happened.i was with inez, yicen and mingee and we were sitting at the glass-walled area reading books(form of cultured relaxation, instead of the often banging-on-the-keyboard that happens whenever we go home).inez and i found it hard to concentrate because it was noisy(wow!) so we went to the 2nd floor instead.. or was it the 3rd?shortly after, yicen and mingee went to the 1st floor so that they could borrow more books and pay off the great amount of the fine yicen's card(not her) chalked up.naturally, nobody was sitting at our original spot.

after a while, we all went up again.lo and behold!4 RI boys were sitting there instead, some on the cushions there!it was a good thing that i placed my notebooks in my bag before i went down.inez said that it wasn't wrong of them to sit there so we just walked over and took our bags and walked downstairs.as we were walking down the ramp to the 1st floor, i looked up and saw one of the four RI guys(who's some channel 8 child actor bah) walking down as well, his 3 other friends ahead.they left almost immediately after us.

yicen was fuming.she said that that did that because they looked down on us not-so-elite-cedarians, though i felt that it was more of childishness on their part.i hope i never see them again.

note: bishan junction 8 is a dangerous place, highly advised against going unless you want to bump into your teacher passing by on the way home.

2006-10-04T05:05:00.000-07:00

whew...

so tiring these days.don't know what to do anymore.mugging and spending long hours at the library every day, but not learning much.

i'll keep my fingers crossed.

just let me die

2006-09-28T01:36:00.000-07:00

i'm feeling extremely upset now.

pitiable, pathetic, helpless, miserable, wretched, forlorn, traumatised... whatever you want me to be.

such a loser i am.i can't even do a simple thing correctly.and with all that exams coming... what do you want me to do?i can't study.realisation that i'm going to get kicked into some lousy class isn't egging me on any more.after all, i am already in one.more importantly, i don't see any results even when i study so hard.it's such a mystery when i notice that i still lag behind even though i see my marks improving.there's no bloody way i can do well enough.and all i want is to get into an AVERAGE 8 subject stream, for now at least.

dreaming doesn't help.it only brings back thoughts of what could have been.i'll just sit there and stare into space, mind turned void.

these few days, i keep thinking of how much happier i would be if i were dead.i'd then be free of all worries.all worries vanishing... myself fleeing from this cruel place that i have lived 14 years in.

making ardous efforts, shedding tears, losing sleep and peace of mind... whatever for?i won't get what i want in the end.

every day is bumpy

2006-09-27T05:02:00.000-07:00

Today is an especially special day.One month and twenty-four days I have waited.I sure am patient and devoted.

i don't know what to say and do any more.i seriously don't want to enter some 7-subject stream.maybe i'll kill myself if i ever get into one.

which method should i use?overdosage of sleeping pills, jumping down from the building, or slashing both my wrists and neck?

i cannot open up.so you all don't really know of the torment, though i suppose you could try to at least understand it.but after all, you're still you and can never be me.nobody'd want to, anyway.

2006-09-20T03:40:00.000-07:00

Admitting to the whole world now, that i think i'm depressed.

why doesnt that sound most wrong?depressed people reportedly refuse to own up about their own condition.am i just being 'emo'?oh so trendy, the next thing i'll be up to is slashing my own wrist.

gah that is totally out of point.what i want to tell the world right now is that i am feeling totally lousy.like before, when i want to cry and the urge cancels itself out a few minutes later.i'm always feeling so anxious for no reason.always waiting for something to appear, and the getting of disappointment turns into a daily routine.

everything weighs so heavily on my shoulders these days, especially my schoolbag, with that great pink file containing such an obscene number of notes and worksheets and badly-done test papers.all the completing of homework, the still not-there starting of revision, the expectations i have to meet.what a break this is turning out to become.

and i'm still trying to condition a blighted soul.words, i know nothing of.it's so hard for me to express myself these days, every attempt comes out flawed.can anyone understand me?most people just want to share happy moments together, but i totally hate fair-weather friends although i daresay i'm one myself.

forget it.i'm just raising the number of posts entered into this account.empty words are all that i can come up with.i've lost feeling, sadly.

oh mathilde, i'm just like you, save for the fact that you're not there.

lucky 7, so called

2006-09-19T05:59:00.000-07:00

tagged by huijun

7 weird facts about me ;
1. i like to laugh at my own jokes and go 'oh my i amuse myself so'
2. i only like subjects when i do well in them
3. i'm extra-sensitive.really.
4. i like it when people tell me that they don't understand what i say because i sound so 'cheem'
5. i like forcing myself to do things that i hate(not counting participating actively in school, though)
6. if i don't get to use the computer i'll feel strangely deprived
7. my sense of humour..?

7 habits about me ;
1. i like to make fun of others
2. acting cute on purpose(to annoy them)
3. i do my homework on the bed
4. speaking in a horrid mix of english & chinese which makes me sound very unflattering
5. always letting my thoughts fall onto the same thing whenever i've nothing else on my mind
6. must listen to music every day.i even listen to prokofiev lor!all my sister's mp3's fault
7. always cupping my face with both of my hands

7 things about me ;
1. i get jealous easily
2. i've got this inferority complex thing going on
3. i don't have a religion
4. i love music
5. i love my friends
6. i absolutely love playing my violin
7. i like writing very much

7 people to do this ;
1)alicia
2)shiping
3)shinny
4)daphne
5)
6)
7)

-

2006-09-14T01:18:00.000-07:00

i just had a horrible day, minus the late coming.

the first period we had today was english, and mrs low gave out our comprehension papers.my result was relieving at first, and then i woke up to realise that my score was utter b.s.whatever happened, ever since i entered this school?if the teachers here are bent on giving me bad grades even if i tried hard, then what's with the english a* for my PSLE?

i want to work hard, i want to try.i want to see my results flourish and not let myself get demoralised.but all i get in return for my utmost effort is some fail grade or some mark hovering along that bloody line.sometimes, i spend the whole afternoon studying for tests but that still leaves me very much doubtful if i could even pass it or not.

the worst thing about doing badly is seeing everyone else getting a much higher grade than my own.and in the next test when i get an A1, all of you score full marks.you probably think that i get over stuff like these easily but bloody hell, I DON'T.my mark against yours.the drastic difference plasters itself against the wall of my mind and it's negativity echoes all over the place.i cannot forget it, and i cannot bring myself to do anything further.i'll just sit there and sulk, and over time be forgotten by the rest of the world.

it hurts so much, to the extent that i'll just sit down and cry in silent despair till my throat goes hoarse and i end up not wanting to do anything else.school's toll is creeping up my spine and tearing away slivers of my sanity each day, devouring them with relish never before.

so after english we had The Math Test.i hope i don't do badly, for i really studied hardest for all Math Tests this year.failing isn't particularly pleasant, either.

my eyes are shut, my ears gone deaf.my mouth stitched up, my senses gone numb.to speak of tragedies before me, you shalt not.

let it fall

2006-09-11T03:25:00.000-07:00

i walked home in the rain today.it was a short distance, from the bus stop outside to the backgate of my estate.this was the first time i've ever braved through the rain and wind without the aid of my umbrella.walking like that didn't seem enjoyable.it was cold, my blouse clung to my skin, and my shoes were making squishy sounds with every hassled step forward.

it was only when i was nearing the corridor that i learnt to appreciate the rain.i was never a friend of the scorching sun, and it seems only natural that i should embrace the tears shed from above.low temperatures and howling winds top it off well too.

the rain wakes me up to my senses, but is walking in it the best way to do so?oh no, the tears i cry without reason do the job much better.

2006-09-10T01:27:00.000-07:00

sad, broken, i drift alone
an individual forever, i moan
then settling snug, only to be hurt once more
my peace shattered, soul torn and sore

pardon the rockiness.just something recollective.but will i still remember this in days, weeks, months and years to come?unlikely.this shall be buried in the grave of forgottance, just like the withered rose of our friendship.

bbb sighting!red stripes over black

2006-09-08T05:54:00.000-07:00

i had band today.last practice, and it's goodbye for a month or so.hello studies!i had my first appointment with you today at woodlands library!i hope to see and learn much much more of you in short time to come!

on the way to the mrt station, ms wan called me.uhm wow, how did she find my number?i couldn't hear anything because the bus was noisy. i suppose she wasn't very happy about that.

yeah so hj and i were late beyond redemption.alright Merciful Inez forgave us but i still feel bad about only completing my math paper and reading a few chapters of my Lit text today.oh just leave me alone i'm desperate for better grades!the library was packed, sadly.3 of us sat on the floor and propped our homework on the cushions.it was alright, though a table would have been greatly preferred.sadly all the ones i have at home are piled with TRASH NOT BELONGING TO ME.i feel that i've kind of wasted this day.O Homework, do allow me to conquer you!

besides the forced rejoice over homeworking, hj and i had fun sneaking McDonalds drinks into the Cafe Galilee there.i wanted to drink it in full view of the counter staff but there was this humungous man who looks like a beef patty so... you get the idea?fine.all my plans to piss off the pissed-looking counterstaff came to nought.grrrrrrrrrr i dont like those people alright?they seem to have a problem with me, even though i didnt speak to them at all.

my most-fun habit of late:bbb-sighting!ooh, very exciting, no?

life goes on and has changed.so have i!

2006-09-06T01:49:00.000-07:00

have you heard?it recently dawned on me that i am a student.and a student's life should be driven by studying as my purpose!honestly, i am looking very much forward to pulling up my grades.i don't want history to repeat itself, especially when it hurt very much.

i have come to terms with a part of myself.although i have already turned 14, i'm still behaving very childishly.all my friends tell me that i'm childish, though i'm not offended by that since that word(to me, at least) conjures up thoughts of exuberance and youthfulness, which is not necessarily a bad thing.but i should learn to be more sensitive and sensible.to understand what others are going through, to be less self-indulgent, to learn of what is really going on, and to realise in time if i had hurt anyone.

sorry to the people that i have disappointed, upset or hurt.even more so if i care for you.i'm far from perfect, and an incorrigible pessimit very often.forgive me for the parts that i am trying to change about myself.the rest are untouchable.i do not know how they came about in the first place, and i have not found a way to approach and deal with them for now.

it's time to study and work hard.shed tears or blood(okay too dramatic) i may, all in an effort to emerge from trials to come a smarter person!go studies i must not enter 7subject stream.

qns 3 and 33 are missing

2006-09-02T02:43:00.000-07:00

got tagged by huijun the Great!
1.Full name: tan xin lin
2.Name backwards: nil nix nat... whatever it really sounds like.
4. Meaning of name: don't know, and not very interested in that.
5. Nickname: don't have one
6.Screen name: (mine often varies)
7. D.O.B: 22nd march 1992
8.Place of birth: thomson medical centre(or something like that)
9. Nationality: Singapore
10.Current location: my brother's bedroom
11.Star sign: Aries
12.Religon: (NA)
13.Height: none of your business
14.Weight: none of your business
15.Shoe size: unsure.i can wear both 5 and 6.
16.Hair color: black
17.Eye color: brown
18.Who do you look like: not alot of people
19.Innie or outtie: i have no idea what these words mean, you hippie quiz-setter
20.Lefty or righty: righty
21.Gay, straight, bi or others: straight
22.Best friends: shiping!!!!!!!
23.Best friends you trust most: not very sure
24.Favourite pals: my recess gang!
25.Best friend of opposite sex: don't really have any in the first place
26.Best buddies: my recess gang!
27.Boyfriend or girlfriend: none at the moment
28.Crush: hey i dont really get this thing.am i supposed to name my 'current crush' or my 'first crush' or my 'favourite crush'?all 3 sound stupid.
29.Parents: none.i live my life without them
30.Worst Enemy: i'm not that childish to have any.
31.Favourite online guy: none
32.Favourite online girl: none
34.Craziest friend: yicen
35.Advice friend: none.i dont treat my friends as agony aunts.
36.Loudest friend: not sure.
37:Person you cry with: none.
38.Any sisters: one
39.Any brothers: one
40.Any pets: miffy and brownie my 6yearold rabbits!
41.Any disease: well...i get diagnosed with dont-feel-like-it every schoolday morning
42.Pager: none
43.Personal phone line: mine's under my fathers name
44. phone: you asking for the brand, or what?(this quiz is confusing)
45.Lava Lamp:
46.Pool or hot tub: swimming pools in my estate
47.A car:
48.Your personality:
49.Driving: not old enough
50Room:shared with!gah
52.Whats missing: many, many things
53.School: cedar girls sec
54.Bed: my own?
55.Relationship with parents: bad
56.Believe in yourself: no
57.Believe in love at first sight: indeed.it depends on what you're in love with.
58.Good listener: unlikely
59.Get along well with parents: no
60.Save e-mail convos: i dont use email to converse
61.Pray: sometimes, for my friends
62.Believe in reincarnation: no
63.Make fun of people: occasionally, but i feel guilty after that
64.Like to talk on the phone: no
65.Want to get married: if i find the right one
66.Like to drive: i dont drive anything
67.Motion Sickness: i suffer from that
68.Eat stem of broccoli: yea
69.Eat chicken with fork: yar..dyou think i'll use a stick instad?
70.Dream in color: yup.when i dream in black&white everything becomes slow-mo and extra romantic.for no reason!
71.Type with your fingers on home role: whats home role
72.Sleep with stuff animals: yea
73.Next to you: many stuff
74.On the walls of your room: wardrobe, my brothers ugly paintings...
75.On your mousepad: grey with black dots, and my mouse
76.Dream car: volkswagen!very cute
77.Dream date: ?
78.Dream honeymoon spot:don't know
79.Dream husband or wife: don't have any
80.Bedtime: 10pm
81Under your bed: dust
82.Single most important question: i don't ask myself questions all the time
83.Bad time of the day: oh so many of them i shan't list any
84.Your worst fear: oh so many of them i shan't list any
85.The weather is: making me faint
86.Time: 6.03pm
87.Date: 2nd september
88.Best trick did on someone:i don't prank people.it's horribly mean
89.Theme song:Maimi Yamasaki is stuck in my head currently
90.Hardest thing about growing up:how all my worst fears and problems clump together and drop like a bombshell onto my life
91.Funniest experience:don't remember any, which tells me i haven't experienced anything close to that
92.Scariest experience:i don't get scared often.it's more of me getting nervous
93.Silliest thing you have ever said:don't remember.my memory's failing me
94.Most desperate and funniest thing i have done to get the opposite sex :i'm very reserved when i am with boys, so none.
95.Scariest thing while you are with your friends:
96.Worst feeling:regret, loneliness, unspoken anguish burning in my heart
97.Best feeling in the world:joy and love!
AND NOW, CHOOSE SIX TO DO THE QUIZ!
undecided list of people..you can do it if you want to

2006-09-01T06:04:00.000-07:00

it's been rather hard for me these days.really.i suppose it has been tough for all of you as well.for i am but an insignificant being, going with the flow when the tide of emotional crisis overwhelmes my whole world.it crashes, i break down, mope and do nothing else.

nothing else.. and thus i'll dwell on it no more.michelle has made me realise, for once, that results do not matter much and the essence is in the part when you really try hard and learn.no regrets whatsoever.i used to take their word for it when other people kept telling me that, and in turn used that to comfort people occasionally when they felt down.but we seldom fully understand the true meaning of these encouragers now-turned cliches, do we?

yesterday, i returned to my primary school once more.not to see the teachers, but instead my friends.my primary 6 form teacher was in the hospital, but i didn't really bother.she doesn't remember my name, and there isn't really any reason why i should feel anything grateful towards her, and to all my other teachers.even if they actually tried to do something for me, it unfortunately went completely unnoticed.no love for you, so-called teachers who only know of bringing about hatred in your students towards yourself.i've never felt any sense of pride or belonging to my primary school, and it'd be highly unlikely that i ever will, someday far, far, far away from now.

sorry, that's what i want to say.apologies for my not paying attention in class,disability to learn half of the things you say and extreme capability of making you feel unappreciated.

may the day soon come when i learn to appreciate and love well enough for the people all around me.

i went to play badminton with my friends today.it was rather weird.at some point(in the court), i sat down and did my math homework on the chair sitting nearby.very strategically placed, indeed.well, at least i learnt how to play better.

i have cca again, tomorrow.my supposedly one-week long break sure didn't leave me rested.i hope i am ready.

2006-08-29T01:18:00.000-07:00

i'm utterly sick of my life, and completely appalled at my disability to let go of it.

i don't want to continue.it's a torment, i can't take it anymore.

and yet i still go on.

how many times must my heart break and my confidence get crushed before i learn?

everything that i had once lived for is now disappearing or has turned to become something inexistant.there's nothing to prepare today for tomorrow's journey.nothing in the next day to look forward to.

and there's nothing i have to tell you.be it good or bad news, you'll still be unhappy, and then you'll be angry with me being pissed with your over still being unsatisfied.even if i told you, you wouldn't care, would you?

no one i can ever confide enough in.if i were dead and were watching my own funeral take process from up above,i'd really want to see what my friends had to say about me.it'd all be full of empty words and nothingness.my true sorrow is unheard and unknown of.

don't go asking me 'are you okay?'.if i do seem that traumatised enough for your prompting, i obviously am not.comforting me will get you nowhere.the only way to heal is to have some time alone, and yet only a few of my wounds heal.

the things you say and do might seem so trivial and unimportant, but they do hurt me viciously so at some point.and then, i mysteriously pull a long face and behave moodily for the rest, for the apparent no-good reason you think i have.

i'm oversensitive.i think too much.i cry alone.i'll never be fine.

i suppose you all hate me by now.

i must be mad.

2006-08-17T04:55:00.000-07:00

last night, i dreamt that someone ran his fingers through the strands of the wig i was wearing.

he asked me if that was a wig or not, and i heatedly replied 'of course it's my hair you doofus!'

should really stop dreaming, it's driving me nuts and making my friends laugh at me when i tell them about it.how very embarrassing..

oh well, we had our History presentation today.shocked the whole class with this scary thing which i had never seen before. so i was standing in front of the whole class covering my ears.heh i think they took a cue from me and started doing the same too, others covering their mouth before the great shock.

other than the whoops received from the class for our History presentation, everything else went rotten.. my chinese teacher scolded me for being indecisive as i couldn't answer her question of which place in Singapore i like best.don't think she'd accept my answer of the Ritz-Carlton hotel, though.

got scolded by math teacher indirectly because i was listening intently to yicen telling me something about survey-like things... got back my english comprehension.

oh, and if you were wondering, i am not fine.it is Really going to take long for me to recover from this ultimate dismay.

went for band rather reluctantly.. i know that many people around me have been eyeing me with disdain, hence the reluctance.mr ong showed us a meiden high 2005 summer concert.i was so very excited then, and kept telling yethong that i hoped that we could find that particular one in the crowd, but the one was not there..replaced by some nerd instead.what a rotten disappointment.

uhh..something rather significant happened on the way home.

right you'll realise that everything here's ambiguous cos theyre confidential.want to know?talk to me then.

till next time..tata

i dont know!

2006-08-15T06:28:00.000-07:00

..what am i doing here?

for i am to be locked up in my cell of a room,

mugging, mugging, mugging

literature and math tomorrow

history presentation the day after,

topped with seemingly endless sessions of band

seemingly everyday.
-
do i sound pathetic enough?

really i should be studying for math.dont want to spend my ___day afternoons locked up in a classroom doing math worksheets with a demanding teacher at bay.

anyway big news: i cut my hair!much shorter now.and i look ridiculous + dumb when i tie it up, cos fringe will be very un-flat and bounces all over my damned head.i like it better left alone,when i don't put on my spectacles as well.gives me the impression that i look Japanese. which is good, by the way. very, very good.pity i might get lectured on leaving my hair untied because the ends are pretty long.

x5 hairpins and stump of a ponytail whenever im in school(which is a large Most of the time), here i come.

Prince

2006-08-11T20:43:00.000-07:00

ohmygoodnesswhichdoilikemore?

i...

2006-08-10T02:00:00.000-07:00

I AM: feeling tired
I WANT: to be more interested in my studies
I WISH: to be less imperfect.
I HATE: what i am going through right now
I MISS: having real friends by my side
I FEAR: failing the upcoming math timed assignment
I HEAR: the wind howling
I WONDER: why my innermost thoughts are always being trapped within me
I REGRET: not studying hard enough for practically every test
I AM NOT: good at comforting people. at all.
I SING: badly.
I CRY: over things that happen to me
I AM NOT ALWAYS: good at everything
I MAKE WITH MY HANDS: some music.ya know, playing my violin?
I WRITE: long essays full of empty words. i need some more inspiration.
I CONFUSE: people when i teach them how to do things
I NEED: to be more artistically-inclined.
I SHOULD: be a better friend and student.
I START: getting angry when i am treated with some backsass.
I FINISH: homework, usually after their given deadlines
I LOVE: dreaming
I REMEMBER: faces better than names when it comes to people

a pun in a pun(that's what yet hong likes to say)

2006-08-04T04:48:00.000-07:00

i have finally got myself an A for my history!

but i still think that i would not like to take it next year

well,you see...there's no future in it.

crazy dreams.not a premonition for sure,i am not even powerful

2006-07-29T22:18:00.000-07:00

oh, goodness...

you'd probably find my life rather ambiguous if i told you(someone who doesn't really understand) about it,but really, really!it isn't, at all..or so at least i think.but i think i do know what exactly is happening, in some sense.

don't get what i'm trying to get across?oh nevermind then.i shall tell you about a dream i had on Saturday night.truth be told, i don't really remember what happened after the MAIN EVENT which is imprinted extremely well on my memory, so here goes:

dreamt that i was in school, and it was maths period.weird thing was that mr khoo did not come in to teach.instead, X came to teach instead.what a surprise!!cos X is really way to young to teach secondary 2 math..i mean X is still a teenager!

so i stared at X for a few moments, and didn't listen to X teaching some lame mathematics topic.was drawing/writing something on my foolscap pad when suddenly X walked over from the teacher's table(HAH!) and in my direction.standing next to my table, X then muttered to me something about being late for school.since it came out slurred,i just went 'har?' and that was the end of the so-called conversation cos X didn't reply.

ohoh, and after a short while (still in my dream now) i suddenly remembered to ask inez what she thought of X's physical appearance, since she told me she was rather interested in the looks of X, though there is the proclaimed probability that she'd vomit blood if she saw X.asked inez and she said that X was s____.

that was the biggest thing in my dream.my jaw dropped, and i just stared at her..

-end of dream-

you wouldn't understand a single thing about X if i haven't told you anything about it!

okay i am not going to state the gender of X here, for i think that should be kept confidential for no reason.ha ha!

i know,i know..this post seems rather unlike me.but i don't even bother to spill out all my secrets here, so this shows that i might not be who you really think i am!

okay end of story.i shall re-tell it to my friends tomorrow, with all the details included exclusively for them.

till next time.

BBB!!!BSB!!!

2006-07-28T20:01:00.000-07:00

i openly declare my love for all things Japanese!

practically everything!

from now onwards, i shall strive to use everything japanese-made,even my stationary!

quiz time once more

2006-07-21T05:39:00.000-07:00

INFP - "Questor". High capacity for caring. Emotional face to the world. High sense of honor derived from internal values. 4.4% of total population.

Introverted (I) 75% Extroverted (E) 25%Intuitive (N) 66.67% Sensing (S) 33.33%Feeling (F) 79.17% Thinking (T) 20.83%Perceiving (P) 66.67% Judging (J) 33.33%

Free Jung Word Choice Test (similar to MBTI)
personality tests by similarminds.com

Global Personality Test Results

Stability (20%) low which suggests you are very worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.
Orderliness (40%) moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.
Extraversion (23%) low which suggests you are very reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and secretive.

trait snapshot:
messy, depressed, introverted, feels invisible, does not make friends easily, nihilistic, reveals little about self, fragile, dark, bizarre, feels undesirable, dislikes leadership, reclusive, weird, irritable, frequently second guesses self, unassertive, unsympathetic, low self control, observer, worrying, phobic, suspicious, unproductive, avoidant, negative, bad at saving money, emotionally sensitive, does not like to stand out, dislikes large parties, submissive, daydreamer

Take Free Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Brain Lateralization Test Results

Right Brain (54%) The right hemisphere is the visual, figurative, artistic, and intuitive side of the brain.
Left Brain (40%) The left hemisphere is the logical, articulate, assertive, and practical side of the brain

According to Darwinian theory, optimal evolution takes place with random variation and selective retention. The evolution savvy individual will try many different approaches when faced with a problem and select the best of those approaches. Many historical intellectuals have confessed their advantage was simply considering/exploring/trying more approaches than others. The left brain dominant type suffers from limited approaches, narrow-mindedness. The right brain dominant type suffers from too many approaches, scatterbrained. To maintain balanced hemispheres, you need to exercise both variability and selection. Just as a company will have more chance of finding a great candidate by increasing their applicant pool, an individual who considers a wider set of options is more likely to make quality decisions.

Are You Right or Left Brained?(word test)
personality tests by similarminds.com

...this sucks.

2006-07-18T05:51:00.000-07:00

i take back my words.

excuse me,are you from a gold band?

2006-07-15T19:09:00.000-07:00

Ye shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free

GOLD for nbc

before our turn,in the tuning room, it suddenly dawned on me how wonderful we really sound.we were one voice,all of us harmonised together by the beautiful bond of music.i almost cried.we had come so far.i still remember the first time i played my euphonium.i could only reach five notes.and now i am capable of actually playing well enough to be included in the competition,given the chance to bring home the long-awaited gold.how much i've improved, how much we've all improved.from the day we were all blown away by the texan version of Yiddish Dances to the day that we have mastered the song and are ready enough to present it to the judges, confident enough to bag the gold.

i thought that the performance was scary, my palms went wet and no matter how i kept trying to dry them on my blazer they stayed the same.my heart beat like never before,thundering within my eardrums, which are only too sensitive to realise flaws in my playing and allow fear to seep into my veins.yethong and i couldn't stop 'grooving to the beat', by nodding our heads rather slightly.we had to enjoy, but why was i growing nervous?!

ms sia couldn't stop frowning, and i couldn't stop watching her.thank god i didn't skip any notes, though my pitching was rather bad in the march.that feeling was indescribable, and this is how much i can try to get out of it:my brain was half frozen,my whole body almost went stiff,and i was on the verge of forgetting everything everyone told me to keep in mind throughout the pieces.things seemed dark(though i was under the spotlight sheesh) and my perspiration felt cold.i wanted to believe and hope that the outcome would be what we worked so hard for, but yet, something at the back of my desperate mind kept holding back the thought and deterred me from doing so.

i was really dumbstruck when Yiddish Dances ended.that was it.8 months worth of practising and learning and improving, presented to the judges in the best state we could make it to be.would they like it and be blown away?or just dismiss it as a song too high a standard for a mediocre band,only capable of a Silver award at syf afterall, and give us yet another silver that we would receive with disappointment befalling us yet once more?i didn't know, i really didn't.but one thing stayed clear in my mind.i knew that i did my very best.i knew, i knew.

didn't want to look back anymore.what's done has been done.no way to ever to back and rewrite history.i was tired.

huijun called me after the competition.she was anxious,because the clock read 6.23pm.results were to be announced somewhere along this fateful passage of time.it'd either make or break the gold band we hoped so much to become.

let dreams, be reality after so long.

after a short while, huijun called me again.when she spoke into the phone with that breathless and excited tone,my heart stopped a beat.i believed in ourselves.i knew that disappointment would not get us.gold, gold, gold.at that moment, i was simply waiting for her to scream into the mouthpiece the wonderful news.sadly,i didn't go nuts.i was feeling ill, and now i am.sore throat, and i couldn't stop sniffling that day.drained, i was.maybe that contributed to my earlier melancholy.

i couldn't stop grinning,though.till i fell asleep.didn't recall any dreams,but maybe moondust was poured over my unconcious thoughts that night and brought sweet victory once more into my mind.

i want to thank michelle for praying for me,charlotte for wishing me good luck,huijun for being the bringer of the news,yethong for always being there,my whole section,the whole band,the conductors(vital) and the teachers i/c for sacrificing saturday rest to bring us to vch and compete.cedar symphonic has finally done the school proud.

---

great song!

2006-07-08T18:14:00.000-07:00

Kiss Me - Sixpence None The Richer

Kiss me out of the bearded barley
Nightly, beside the green, green grass
Swing, swing, swing the spinning step
You wear those shoes and I will wear that dress.

Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight
Lead me out on the moonlit floor
Lift your open hand
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance
Silver moon's sparkling
So kiss me

Kiss me down by the broken tree house
Swing me upon its hanging tire
Bring, bring, bring your flowered hat
We'll take the trail marked on your father's map
-
yalah i know its very old already but i like it!

survey,from ys!

2006-07-03T06:11:00.000-07:00

I HAVE BEEN TAGGED BY YEE SUAN!

#1 Do the following WITHOUT complains
#2 Choose 5 people to do this after you completed
#3 Leave a tag on the person's tagboard to say he/she have been tagged
#4 Start your post with "I have been tagged!" then do this.

FAVOURITES
Colour: purple i suppose
Food: dont know
Movie: cant decide
Day of the Week: saturday
Season: autumn/winter.must experience both well first,before i come to a decision

CURRENTS
Mood:thinking sth along the lines of 'i feel like sleeping'
Taste: huh?
Clothes: t-shirt and shorts
Desktop Picture: To Me, You Are Everything - TAMAKI AND HARUHI!
Toenail Colour: i dont know.isnt it colourless?eww sounds gross
Surroundings: im in my computer room..v v messy
Annoyances: stupid song playing on wma,which i am about to take off soon

FIRSTS
Best Friends: mandy wong!
Crush: dont rmb
Movie: dont rmb
Lie: cant rmb
Music: the first song i played..twinkle twinkle little star?one handed!!sheesh

LASTS
Cigarette: i dun smoke
Drink: water
Movie: just my luck.its so-so,btw.
Phonecall: inez
Played: played what?

HAVE YOU EVER
Dated One Of Your Best Friends: erm..my besties are all female,and i'm straight.
Broken The Law: i've jaywalked!
Been Arrested: nope
Skinny Dipped: nope
Been On TV : yeah..and i looked like a ghost.
Kissed Someone You Don't Know : no

NUMERICAL-NONSENSICAL
Five Things You Are Wearing Right Now: you dont need to know
Four Things You've Done Today: watched ouran high,did math homework,drew chinese comics,showed off my fiends
Three Things You Hear Right Now: timpani sound,some male tenor going vibrato..and nothing else
One Thing That You Do When You're Bored: stare into space

TAG!
#1 alicia
#2 alex
#3 shinny
#4 chatty
#5 magesh

oh.my.goodness

2006-06-26T03:26:00.000-07:00

URGH...i hate going to school.strange enough,i didnt feel very un-used to waking up at 6am today.didn't feel caged during lessons.i think i know why!probably because my holidays were so boring school didn't seem to be any more of that too.

baked cupcakes for home econs lesson today..there was a disgusting bug within the chocolate chips argh!charlotte says its a weevil and it really came from the flour.though i thought we(michelle and i,that is) mixed the batter rather well,and the cupcakes looked really cute when they came out,it didn't taste very nice.i hate insects!they spoil everything,including the could-have-been-better flavour of my cupcakes today!down with you!you don't even help ME in anything,do you?!?!??!??!!

oh,and today sucked.

go back to your forest,primate!

name analysis

2006-06-24T07:22:00.000-07:00

check this out!

Your First Name of: Xinlin
Although the name Xinlin creates idealism and the urge to help others, we emphasize that it causes a blunt expression that alienates others.
This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the nervous system, and tension or accidents to the head.
Your name of Xinlin has given you an idealistic nature with a desire to help others.
Your initiative often causes you to be the first to act when you see a need.
Since you are impressionable and receptive, you feel the misfortunes of others very keenly.
However, this name makes it awkward for you to express your deeper thoughts and feelings with finesse and diplomacy to the extent that your candid, sometimes blunt, manner of speaking creates misunderstandings with others.
Being somewhat self-centred, you learn through your own experiences, as you rarely take advice from others.
Yet, you are sensitive and very easily hurt and offended.
You long for praise and appreciation for your efforts, but others find it difficult to understand you.

http://www.kabalarians.com/cfm/DisplayNameAnalysis.cfm

oh,and do you think its accurate?i cant say anything..cos it seems rather vague to me.oh well!!

i have no life.

2006-06-20T22:59:00.000-07:00

the time has come,when i am simply too lazy and bored.too lazy to complete my still-undone 'holiday homework', and bored because nothing nice is on tv (despite having cable!!!) and nobody wants to talk to me,save for alex.also,ouran high isnt getting uploaded onto youtube.com and animax is not showing it anytime soon!!!!!!!!!

yeah so when times like this take over my dreary days,i listen to music,watch shows i dont like,go online and stare at the screen,sms and blog.because i have nothing better to do, thats why!!!!!!!

oh someone,just ask me to go out with you to catch a movie!!!i haven't watched a single one this june.to singaporean students (e.g. me), june = (despite so-called holidays where the teachers still load hw)going-out time.watching movies.eating junk food.hanging out.HAVING FUN!

argh..i feel like a nerd.a geek.an outcast.oh wait,i am all three!!!!!!!

p/s:must get around to pronouncing my words correctly.for i am afraid that in say,20years time i'd be teaching my kids to go 'one,two,tree'

toodles!

20 random cantering thoughts

2006-06-11T07:01:00.000-07:00

included in ali's and shinny's list.hooray i feel honoured!

List 20 people off the top of your head. DON'T read the questions first:

1. Chatty
2. Shiping
3. Inez
4. Shinny
5. Yicen
6. Alicia
7. Daphne
8. Magesh
9. Michelle
10. Yeesuan
11. Yethong
12. Madeline
13. Regina
14. weiliang
15. xun
16. Chuming
17. Alan
18. Ck
19. Jessica
20. Me!

QUESTIONS

How did you meet 13?: (reggie) err..through shiping
What would have happened if you hadn't met 6?:(ali yayyyy) i would have a blighted life.ALI ROCKS YAY!
What do you honestly think of 10?: (yeesuan)yeesuans very nice!and she has a nice dimple!
Would 8 date 3?:(magesh8)(inez3) NO WAY. 8 isnt homo,shes boy-crazeeeeeee
Were you ever into 4?:(shinny!) thats disgusting!NO.
Would you date 5?: (yicen)im a girl!
Would 2 & 11 make a good couple?: (shiping2)(yethong11)nope.theyre both female
Would you go out with 14?:(wl)eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...no!
Describe 7 in 7 words: (daphney)she has an evil side to her
Do you think 15 is hot?: (xun)no.
Would 1 & 17 make a good couple?:(chatty1)(alan17) i dont know..though i have ever thought of matchmaking them before HAHA
Tell us something about 14: (wl)he is shorter than me!!!!!!!!hahahahha
Do you know any of 3's family?: (inez)her mama.
On a scale of 1-10, how cute is 16?: (chuming)tee hee hee...i dont know!sheesh
What language does 19 speak?: (jessica)english/indonesian/chinese
Who is 12 going out with?: (madeline) no one
When was the last time you spoke to 13?: (reggie)long time ago..
Would 18 & 10 make a good couple?:(ys10)(ck18) nah, dun think so.
Would you ever date 2?: (shipinggggggg)no!shes my bestie for ever and ever!
How'd you meet 20?: how do i meet myself?HUH
Where does 17 live?: (alan)boon keng
How long have you known 19?: (jessica)ever since p3..err 5 years now!
Is 12 older than you?: (madeline)nope
Have you ever gone out with 7?: (daphne)yeah, window-shopping.
Have you kissed 5?: (yicen)NO. she's straight.i'm straight.we're both normal
Do you find 18 attractive?: (ck)HAH. good question.he's my 'kor'
What is 6's best feature?: (ali!whohoo)err..cant decide between nicehair/longlegs/tall-y/fair skin
What do you like about 10?: (yeesuan)she loves animals!!!!!
Is 3 a good friend?: (inez)OF COURSE!
Out of 8, 17, 4, 16, 2 who would you sleep with?:(8magesh)(17alan)(4shinny)(16chuming)(2shiping) none.i'm no hussy!

MY FUNKY 8!

2006-06-11T05:30:00.000-07:00

chosen by shinny and ali!

Who is in your top eight?
one... shiping/alexise
two... shinny
three... alicia
four... daphney
five... chatty
six... hu(i)jun
seven... nehneh(inez YAY!)
eight... yicen aka a cheng

Basic questions...
Who have you known the longest? ali
Who have you known the shortest? chatty
Are any of them your best friend and if so who? all!i love them so much!
Who is the youngest? shinny!
Who is the oldest? inez
Are they your only friends? ...nah!
Who of them were your childhood friends? ali(since p1)/shinny(since p3)
Who are in your main circle of friends nowadays? chatty,huijun,inez and yicen
Who makes you laugh the hardest? yicen
Who is the most serious? err..its between chatty and shiping
Have you ever been two faced or betrayed one of your friends?ive only one face..sheesh!but betray them?no way
Who is the loudest? shinny/shiping(they like to shout in public!!)
How many of them go to ur school? chatty,huijun,inez and yicen
Do any of them go out? what do you mean by 'go out'?
Are any of them hot? inez/shinny/yicen are the prettiest..always have boys chasing them
Are any of them ugly? all of them a prettier than me...pffft!
How many boys? 0
How many girls? 8..i attend an all-girls school hahaha

UNO!
Name a time that person made you smile: whenever we talk about crap!
Name a time that person made you sad: err..when she wallows in self-pity
Would you ever go out with this person? we always went window-shopping!
Is this person serious or funny: seemingly serious,hmm..
What was your first impression of this person?very nice voice for singing!
Is this person your best friend? YEA =D
Is it a boy or a girl? girlie girl!(ok only jk)
Does this person make you laugh? yep!
What word reminds you of them? alexise/clover
Do you trust them? of course^^
Do you love them? yep^^ as a friend =D
Would you/have you kiss/kissed this person? i dont kiss people..uhh
What is your best memory with this person? many many of them window shoping together!
If you were standed on a desert island would you want this person to be there? erm..nope cos i dont think shes v good with survival skills in the wild(no offence!!)
Where do you hang out and what do you do? j8 -.- we went there so many times i feel like hurling at the thought of that place now

It takes TWO
How old is s/he? tender thirteen
Does this person live near you? nope, she lives far far away from me
Does this person ever get on ur nerves? yeah!cos shes so cute and smart and preeeeeeeeeeety it makes me feel that life unfair
Whats your best memory with him/her? taking neoprints in 2004!
Have you ever cried in front of him/her? i dunno..
Have you ever had a crush on this person?i'm not homo
Do you love him/her? so very much,as a friend!
How did you meet this person? choir!
Have you ever met this person's parents?yeah
What would you lable them if you had to? the most charming sweetie-pie!
Is s/he single? yep
Would you kiss this person? nah its weird
Had this person ever seen you embarrass your self? i think so..
Do you care about this person? YEAH!
What color hair does s/he have? black

hehe its number three =)
Does s/he play any sports? well,used to be in the school volleyball team
Does s/he go to your school? she used to =D
What's this person's name? ALI!ok its Tee Yuan Wen Alicia
Do you love this person? loads and loads!
Have you ever been in a fight with this person? nope
Do you have any nicknames for this person? ali loh.i like it cos she doesnt!wheeeeeeee
Does this person play any instrument? her voice is her instrument
Does this person have your number? yea^^
What's something that reminds you of this person? bunnies!shes gentle and soft like one :D
Do you know his/her sign? astrology? libra,the zodiac always assosciated with romance and love *wink*
What's his/her eye color? dark brown
Is he/she in any of your classes? p1,p2,p3,p5,p6
When was the last time you hung out? february i think

That fantastic four!
What is this person's name? Chua Daphne.always so and will remain the same till the end of time,Amen.
Boy or girl? girl!
Hair color? black =D
Have you ever been shopping with this person? window-shopping whehee!
What's this person's best quality?good at expressing herself
Is s/he nice? yea =D
Whats the nicest thing this person ever done for you? loads and loads :D
Have you ever done any thing crazy with this person? yep
Have you been to his/her house before? yep
Had s/he been to yours? no.. :(
Had s/he ever had an awesome party? yeah!christmas and birthday parties!!
How long have you known this person? erm every since p1 but we only became close in p5
Do you love them? as a friend =D
Are you on this person's top 8?dont think she has did this yet..haha
If so, where? not applicable

High Five!
Where does this person live? somewhere along braddell road
What is their favorite sport? used to be mapling
Do they have any nicknames for you? no la
Do you have any nicknames for them? CHATTY!
Are you two close? yeah
Had s/he seen you naked? no
Had s/he seen your underwear/boxers? no
Have you ever worked with this person? um,worked together in projects,thats it
How did you meet? she was my classmate sitting behind me
When did you meet? erm..2004?orientation,yeah
Have you ever had a crush on this person? nope
Has this person ever spilled one of your secrets? nope^^
Whats an inside joke of yours? errrrrr.once during PE lesson..HAHAHHA!
Whats your favorite thing about this person? dunno.maybe the funny things she says?

Six Pack
What color hair does s/he have? black
Why are you this person's friend? cause we've loads in common!
What's an inside joke between you two? dont think we have 1
What school does s/he attend? shes my classmate,so same as mine
Do you know this person well? quite =D
What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think of this person? saxy!
When was the last time you guys hung out? i saw her last friday
Do you hang out a lot? we keep doing community service together -_-
How did you know this person? orientation '04,my first friend!
Do you trust this person? yes
Do you know his/her parents? not really,but i've seen them before
Whats the most fun you've had with this person? alot of funny memories xD

Seven 11
Whats the nicest thing you've ever heard him/her say? dont know xD
Single or taken? single,but has one whole load of guys chasing her
Does s/he love you? no idea
Are you related to this person? we're good friends
How old is s/he? just turned 14 6 days ago!
What is the most fun you've ever had with this person? gossiping >.<
Do you know his/her favorite band? she listens to singers
Do you talk to this person often? yeah!
Are they a virgin? OF COURSE!!!!
Are they pretty? realllllllll pretty :D :D :D
Do they have bad habits? shh...

EIGHT below!!!
Is the reason they're 8 because you don't care about them as much as 1-7?? nope =D
Did you lie on the last question? nuh-uh =D
Does s/he have a nice smile? yea^^
Is s/he funny? hilarious!
Whats a quote from them? dont know,yicens everchanging!
Does s/he have AIM? nope, but he has msn^^
How do you see this person? crazy,fun-loving girl with messy hair
Have you ever wanted to see this person fall just because it would be fun? nope,thats so mean
Do you fight with this person? i dont fight with ppl
Would you let this person live with you if they had nowhere else to stay? of course!

ABOUT ALL OF THEM!!!
Name an inside joke of yours with 1-8: harry potter(ali!!)
Who is the richest? chatty
Who 0is the hottest? inez
Would you date any of them? nope
Do you have a crush on any of them? nope
What's the furthest you've gone with any of them?i went with inez to pasir ris xD
Number of boys: 0
Number of girls: 8
Funniest? yicen
Ditzyist? yicen
You talk online with the most: shiping/inez
You hang out with the most: chatty/huijun/inez/yicen
Have you ever travelled anywhere with anyone on your top 8? loads of times,with all of them,on the bus ride home,and on the train to malls
If so where? answered in the above qn
Have you ever hated anyone on your top 8? nope
If so who? not applicable
Have you ever done anything illegal with anyone on your top 8?we(inez/huijun/i) kinda prank called someone on the phone
Have you ever played on a sports team with anyone on your top 8?i dont play sports
Have you ever kissed anyone in your top 8? Who? no one
Have you ever told 8 you loved them? Who? shinny and shiping <3
Which of your friends on your top eight will fill this out? all of them,on their blogs/emails/etcetc

vicious lovers

2006-06-11T05:06:00.000-07:00

got chosen to do this quiz by yeesuan,hooray you saved me from vicious boredom!!

instructions : state eight different points of your ideal lover.
mention gender.
tag eight others to do it.

gender of ideal lover : male

1. taller than me
2. at least average-looking,and smell good too!
3. has some artistic talent(either music/writing/painting/drawing)
4. well-mannered
5. not coarse in sense of mannerisms/speech etc
6. (hopefully)can converse in various European languages INCLUDING English
7. good in studies
8.*MOST IMPORTANT*has the soul of a poet,i love romance.

eight people to do this: (randomly chose, don't do if you don't want to((:)

1. chatty
2. daphney
3. magesh
4. shiping!
5. alicia!
6. michy-peachy
7. shinny!
8.

befallen misfortunes

2006-06-01T00:42:00.000-07:00

Bad Journal:MONDAY

i went to school with inez and yicen for a 5min Lit play presentation..and the oh-so-poised me scraped my knee in the school carpark!i was walking on the metal bars covering the drain,built slightly above the carpark ground,and two of them were between me.they shuffled,and shuffled,and shuffled all the way.so when i tried to get my foot past them,i fellllllllllllllllllllllll all the way down.first landing on my shin,and i tried to put my forearms firmly on the ground so as to prevent them from being scraped.apparently my arms were 'very weak' and it resulted in me looking like i was sprawling on the ground.

not very funny, it is.my right knee had so much skin eroded away, and was bleeding as the germs bit viciously away at my skin, causing limping in my strides WHICH I STILL HAVE TILL NOW,3 DREARY DAYS AFTER THE INCIDENT.

i was rather badly injured if you asked me,and wounds really don't get me into a good mood.pissed i was already, but the school had to make me fume even more, by clearing every single thing in the sick bay because it was the holidays.

without anything medicinal to clean up my wound at all,i had to suffice with a piece of tissue(which clung disgustingly to my wound) attatched to my knee with strips of Scotch tape pasted all over it.

what's more,i had to go to the stupid mall by MRT to book CIP with the library situated there. only after a 15min walk to the station could i find a convenience store for me to purchase gauze and surgery tape to cover my wound more decently.misfortunes kept befalling me, for after i scraped my knee that day, i kept threathening to trip and fall wherever i go.lock me indoors forever,will you??

Bad Journal:Wednesday

knee still not healed.at least some thin-ny layer of skin had grown over it.

had to go for band(3h) and cip(6h).put a bandage over my stupid,brainless knee.

cip: walked all over the library never resting once at all.dutifully shelved and straightened,even the books at the bottomost shelves.could i squat down or balance on my knees then?i tried,and the skin tore,for i saw a red stain on the bandage 2hours into my duty.just great,eh?only 4 more hours to go!!

silly librarian lectured us for shelving magazines too quickly.she actually thought we did slipshod work.so next time we should spend more time shelving magazines,making sure every single page of each issue given to us should be smoothened out and remain that way,without any creases!all in a bid to make ourselves seemingly more hardworking.

after cip: went to buy some chicken fillet.it cost $3,and i gave $4 to the trainee cashier who returned me $1 change in 20c and 10c coins.so many of them in my palm,i tried to put all into the wallet and failed miserably, terribly and most importantly,embarrassingly.all the coins flew over the place.THANKS A LOT,TRAINEE CASHIER.YOU PROBABLY SAW MY BANDAGED KNEE TOO, AND I HATE YOU.
---
more infuriating things had happened,but i don't think i'd like to mention them.ALL ELSE SUCKS.

p/s.do pardon any errors for grammar/sentence structure/english stuff in this post.i am red-hot in anger it fried away some of my brain cells which help me to think and write logically.

2006-05-28T06:47:00.000-07:00

how interesting indeed,this world is..

survey

2006-05-13T20:27:00.000-07:00

this is my 111th post.interesting huh!so i've been picked by alicia to do this!yay!

one. this is a quiz.
two. the people who are chosen have to choose 5 more people to do this quiz.
three. be honest. LOL..
four. have fun! ((:

1` how many crushes do you have?
never thought about it,becos the answer is a No.i just like to look at people
2` i will recommend this song called _____ by____
Burning Bridges by Jason Mraz
3` mummy, when i grow up i wanna be a...
i haven't really decided yet.
4` describe yourself with at least 5 points.
- certified homo sapien
- not good in studies
- im a girl
- one who's not good-looking
- i'm sick now.literally.
5` the most intimidate thing you've done to the opppsite sex is...
nothing intimidating?
6` your next dream birthday present will be...
a time machine
7` what do you wanna tell your current crush/ex/current lover?
don't have any leh
8` who are the next people chosen to do this quiz?
huijun/charlotte/magesh/yeesuan/

CIP

2006-05-05T08:11:00.000-07:00

for some reason,my teacher forced my whole class to evacuate outta the school before 2pm.i know.. the school building is where everyone living in Potong Pasir estate is going to put down their vote at for the elections,but isn't that all going to happen only tomorrow?

so Inez and I went to Bishan and i kinda made people notice me, because i kept going :hurRAH! inez said that the RAH thing made me sound like a lion..well,what can i say about that!!!then we went to my house and tried to do homework,but she ended up tying her hair again and again,while i simply sat down and stared at the worksheet,waiting for my inexistant answer sheet to float down from heaven and into my hands.

not giving a hoot to the homework anymore,we went to the library,with an ulterior motive which was to look at Huijun,Yicen and Magesh do their service while we just stand at a corner and smirk.sadly,the train ride was about 40minutes,and we reached there only in time to watch Yicen snack and then go up to do out own service,from 5.30 to 8.30pm.

Inez's online friends came over to the library,hoping maybe to catch a glimpse of what she looks like,but it was a terrible case of mistaken identity.they actually thought that i(the yellow jacket!) was her.hilarious?not really,'cos they don't even really know what she looked like in the first place.well,the bottomline is that they had placed their hopes too low.. yeah.

okay its 11pm already..my eyelids are half shut and the monitor seems too bright for it's own good now.yeah whatever i'll go to sleep.

2006-04-21T20:42:00.000-07:00

i woke up late yesterday..for Sports Day fell on a Friday!

Inez, Yicen and I went to j8 to eat our lunch..and my phone kept getting flooded with texts and phone calls the battery went from full to almost-flat.poor chatty couldn't get onto any of the 2 buses to the stadium from where she was,cos they were all flooded with students from another school heading in the same direction, somehow.she still reached the stadium earlier than i did!

and..Band was last for the CCA race.oh no!but then again,i kinda expected it.didn't really cheer during the race,cos me and Yethong were busy looking at how fast they were.Yethong ran too,by the way!i am SUCH a supportive friend,you know!Huijun, Inez and I made the effort to hop all the way down the huge steps to the ground and scream 'GO YETHONG!AAH' say,maybe a million times?

the Teachers Race was also a highlighted part.there were many things noted,but all not to be disclosed,for they are all painfully confidential!!naughty Magesh,anyhow!

the event obviously rounded up with the announcement of the winner house..IXORA WON!!!!!!!!charlotte and huijun speculated that Gardenia would win,but i was hopeful and wanted our house to win..and we did!how euphoric we all shrieked with pleasant surprise..gardenia was ahead of Ixora,initially!we were the champion class of our standard,again, is it not?and sportswoman of the standard is YanRui,who sits behind me!heh

my cup of hapiness yesterday was filled to the brim.um,i can't always be happy..and the homework given out by teachers is already piling up there right next to me.so,i've gotta get up and on with my homework-completion,along with revision for MATH and SCIENCE tests next week.hoorah?

up to my neck

2006-03-31T20:56:00.000-08:00

what now?

week after torturous week,what more do they still want from me?one week i have 3 tests and so much homework,the other i only have 1 test,but the teachers somehow think its no sweat to us and decide to load us with even more homework so odd and even schoolweeks all seem the same to us now.

my ridiculous CCA takes up my after-school time slot on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays, and i never return home before 5pm on these days.the moment i step into the house i can only take a quick shower,gobble down my dinner and it's back to the study-grind.great, don't you think it?tuesdays and thursdays i leave the school at 6.30pm.i don't know what's up with them,but tests ALWAYS fall on wednesdays and fridays.

oh,life is SO meaningful since it's pieced together so prettily JUST FOR ME!

i can't stand the people around me.i can't name all you prats, sadly.though no one reads this, it is still afterall, accessible to the rest of the world.

for this weekend's homework,i have to complete yet another geography mindmap(in preperation for my mere 1 geography test next friday),2 ban yue ji(translated to english as fortnightly reflections),a chinese essay, 'O' level assessments, math notes, and i must come up with a recipe for my school's 50th anniversary bash next year.hell i'd love to bash everyone up now.

what do you think of it?to me,it's only the greatest amount of homework to complete in 2 days i've ever met!no problem honey,i'd scale this mountain and climb up to top with ease!

just..let me point this out.it's week 2 in my second term and i have 2 fortnightly reflections in chinese to hand up on monday.

2006-03-24T19:43:00.000-08:00

my god i slept half the day away!

365th

2006-03-21T06:10:00.000-08:00

tis the last day of being an immature 13-year-old..

eurgh..

2006-03-10T20:42:00.000-08:00

school closed yesterday!i went out with huijun inez yicen and mingee!5 of us if we really walked side by side dyou reckon we'd look like a gang?haha of course not im just yakking gibberish we all look so innocent and cute!

we took a very long time.school ended at 1.40 and we set off at 3pm.all of them changed into home clothing except for me and huijun,since we just joined in at the eleventh hour.we(huijun and i) thought we didn't look/smell good so we took her body mist and sprayed it all over ourselves!didn't have much of an effect,though.

well we walked along orchard road and saw many japanese!at 7-11 this stupid staff wanted to take a picture of me and huijun at their outlet,probably to use as propaganda and brainwash the public that they give excellect service.in the end they got this boy from an international school and he had to stand frozen,drinking apple juice from that teeny cup and trying to smile at the same time.i thought he rather enjoyed it,though.

at cineleisure(whatever it's spelled i don't care)we took neoprints...was it fun?there were costumes that we could dress ourselves up in and they forced me to take part and wear a kings crown.i also had a weird velvety cape draped on me.they wanted me to be a boy!arh anything though the pictures turned out alright(save for my ugly face) i really wouldn't take neoprints again.too bimbotic and i hate those little cartoon things you could paste on the pictures.there was even lamination and the plastic they used had twinkling stars on it.

so nice?i think not quite..

well that was all so goodbye.

yipee hooray!lets all cheer and stamp our feet on the ground

2006-03-09T00:00:00.000-08:00

i have no cca this week!so lovely i go home real early everyday and there's no pressure on me to study for any impending tests now since it's the last week!

yesterday i got sent to the Recovery Room cos i wasn't feeling well.it was a nice trip.i missed a lesson!well,at the expense of my health,though.i slept awhile there, and when i woke up it was already recess,so i went to find my friends since that short rest really deemed me alive and kicking!no really,i was half in my grave before i got there.charlotte said i looked like a bunny when they saw me asleep.i should really stop playing with Brownie now..

well today was kinda bittersweet,but mostly lazy and slack-ish.i got a pathetic mark for my history test but topped the class in higher chinese(for the first time this year!)i used to get bottom,but i really don't know what brought about this pleasant positive change in my grade.this implies that chinese the subject is unpredictable and distrustable,so please cut off that subject!preeeeeeetty please:(??

i have geography and math homework due tomorrow.not planning to do anytime now,you see..anyway shucks!(that sounded stupid)i have to wear my yucky p.e shirt tomorrow!now yellow scares the socks off me cos its the color of that literally stinky shirt.i hear you snort that p.e or running isn't that bad,or maybe it just seems too difficult to me,but really i'd like to see you try find any of my schoolmates who hasn't sweated like a pig in it!

oh well school's closing tomorrow and inez wants to celebrate the start of the holidays!should i go?don't really feel like now,really.

note:my chin hurts,real badly.i suppose i've been leaning over too lazily on the table nowadays,or maybe i just tripped over something and landed real hard on it!

19 more

2006-03-03T02:55:00.000-08:00

something is wrong with me.i suppose i have some disorder within me,since i sulk everyday and complain at the teeniest things,in school.

i have also become increasingly obedient.no more quarrels with Mother, and i sleep before 10 every night(alright that's because i dont want to study late into the night).even on weekends i go to bed before 11pm.

placid,placid me.i retort no more.instead i just sit there like a muffled idiot,looking at my fingernails or trying to pull off that irritating bit of skin attached to my finger's side.

i don't really know what i do nowadays.the week always seems to slog on while i try to keep forgetting anything that happened a few days back so the weekends'd seem to come sooner.however when i recall some stuff which happened only a fortnight before i'd go in my mind:wow,that was actually so damn long ago!

things just seem so weird sometimes.especially now,when i'm so confused and don't really get what i'm doing most of the time.

sounds weird,but i think my temper has really taken on a drastic change.i scream only when yicen pokes me,and i'm pretty quiet most of the time.like it?i sure do,somehow.there are too many chatterboxes around.

funny thing about me is that i strive to be what the average person ain't.so i act like a misfit,and get really low self-esteem.

i like being me,but i hate myself.

lethargic

2006-02-03T05:20:00.000-08:00

school..makes me irked.i don't feel exactly pleasured at waking up before the sun is up and reaching home past my dinnertime almost everyday.

i sleep 9hours a day and come to school with my eyelids half-closed.i don't know what the teachers are talking about and i'm excited for the week to end every Monday morning.

i get annoyed and irritated.i snap at people sometimes.i don't do my corrections.i'm slowing down.

and it's only February.

sweet

2006-01-20T04:37:00.000-08:00

band yesterday.wasn't too bad,the songs weren't too difficult and i controlled yakking by a little, but i felt constrained.

let me scream at you.

oh,and the sec1s came yesterday.reading from the cca notice board,yethong and i realised a new recruit to have almost the exact same name as me, save for her 'sherilyn' written at the back.the leaders will still call her other name though, and there might be something funny to laugh at,since she's from my junior class.ugh

the little ones came in a small group.barely 20?the conductors probably chose quality over quantity,but i like to think that the sec1s weren't as good as us when we were in sec1,just to comfort my shallow self.

i think one of them kept staring at me.am i so very fascinating?

on a more recent note, i am partially glad that my class had a 40minute recess!because we were so quick and dashed around the school twice we were all strolling around unlike other classes,who were still waiting to start their jogging when we started our second round!

the other reason is because it is the last day of the schoolweek!this means i don't have to mutter swears under my mouth every morning,since i get to wake up late!

life isn't great though,i'm sad to admit.i'm going to get choked with tests next week.4 in 5 days!and someone is pushing me at a particular form of relaxation as well..damn.

well i'm off to what i'm needed at.toodles!

number 1

2006-01-13T03:02:00.000-08:00

lessons have started good and proper.though i still find myself staring blankly at the questions for direct proportion...what?i don't think i have any particular comment on any teacher..but some of them gave me good impressions which quickly sagged and i lost interest in slogging my butt off for the subject.

i realised that i've quite a number of juniors here,who were from primary school.now really,i don't know them well at all,but the head prefect of gy'05 keeps calling my name and waving at me and another one whose name i do not know stares at me sometimes.thats all so unnatural.boo.i hate attention.and some people.

slush.drip.splatter.rain,rain!i love rainy days so much.pity we all wouldn't be able to survive if this splendid weather continued thriving.

we had an hour-long talk on wednesday.i seemed indifferent then,but didn't stay that way for long,because i am prejudiced heavily against a particular person now.i used to have high respect for the person,but now all i can do is to wish so badly i'd see you slip on a banana peel someday.

when the full moon wanes i shall be dreading something.

hello,hell.

$15 well spent

2005-12-29T06:32:00.000-08:00

yay i just attended a band concert at vch!the nakamura girls were awesome!they could really play very very well and their soloists were extremely talented!!1 instrument could be heard throughout the whole hall which wasn't small okay,so that was superb projection!and they were so enthusiastic and energetic about everything the songs they played sound better than the ones on the CDs that i've got!there were also a few songs where they lifted up the instruments and played it that way.the brass simply gleamed in the light!also they had a professional trumpeter who played 'stardust' and thrilled at every long note she held!

arg there's so many good things to say about their performance!!

oh yeah,tkgs was good,but they didn't have as much pomp as the japanese girls.you go!!

i wish..so.

2005-12-15T04:48:00.000-08:00

guess what?i'm performing on 18dec!i shan't tell you where cos i'm afraid i'd screw up and return home with too many free veggies and fruits!

i'm feeling kinda down today.because of something someone reminded me of.it just doesn't seem the way it should be.but who am i to scorn it anyway?

so i went to yethong's house today,lugging our instrument cases with us!see,we had planned to go to her home,deposit her instrument there and then go to mine,put my own there and go shopping for the things we were supposed to.i thought the things we bought were really not presentable,didn't really had a clear mind while walking about.i just kept buying and buying all those things on impulse and regret it on the second glance.sometimes i wish i were more rational.

tomorrow i am going to wake up with sore forearms and quarrel with my sister.don't ask me.it's just gonna happen,alright?don't ask questions.

today's lunch was completely disgusting,by the way.once more i wish i weren't such a mindless person.i might end up with kidney failure now.sigh.

2005-12-11T00:50:00.000-08:00

i think im going nuts.i haven't fully completed any subject for my holiday homework.

i've a nasty feeling that all the questions i did in both math papers have turned out wrong and i'd score zero.

i can't find a book about hi-tech farming in the library for my geography project and i don't think the textbook would suffice.

there's nothing about world war 1 in my history textbook since its about singapore's history and the book i got from the library is extremely confusing and thick.they insist a biblography with books and websites as the credit.

i don't quite understand Animal Farm because there are too many characters in the storybook i fear of making a fool out of myself when i describe them in my summary though i've refered to the book for those names.

the chinese storybook has such romantic pictures,pity i can't get many of the words they wrote into my head.i understand it's an Italian classic,but that's all i know.

i think i'm going nuts.

2005-12-04T20:31:00.000-08:00

Rules Of The Game

1.post five weird/random stuffs about yourself
2.at the end of the post, list the name of 5 peoplewho you want next to do this.
3.leave a comment "you are tagged" in their blogand tell them to read your blog for rules.

5 weird/random stuff about me
1. I play 2 musical instruments
2. I love Nickelodeon!
3. I have no favourite color
4. I suck at Mathematics
5. and i love Literature YAY!

next 5 people to do this quiz
1. Alex(though i dunno if that blog is still working)
2. Shin
3. Charlotte
4. Jessica Luk
5. YeeSuan

nevermind i won't tag them cos im too lazy to do so.i'll just wait for them to read this!

STUPID RED T-SHIRT!

2005-12-01T01:54:00.000-08:00

today was horrid.so disagreeable i can't place a word on it.but i can explain.

i woke up groggy and tired because i only had one days' rest before going back to band.hell yeah,the camp was fun,but both physically and mentally draining.

i went to school looking like an idiot because i wore the wrong coloured tee,though i was lucky my senior who didn't appear had told me to bring both shirts,so i changed and prevented others from staring at me.however,the leaders later announced that it wouldn't be wrong if we wore the wrong uniform today.

while i was starting on the new christmas piece,the tutor had to come.so me and yethong had to walk out for practice.i couldn't side-read well and everything we played was not what we usually did,so i was the slow one,stuttering on every bar and keeping silent because it was all too fast to catch up.i kept being pulled aside to play,by myself.it was so gruelling,and the tutor kept forcing us and made us finish 5/6 of the piece under slightly over a mere hour.

i was so tired and irritated because i couldn't play well that day,i kept pitching everything wrongly and my brain went slower.also,i was ridiculed because my instrument kept leaking and i used the most 'funny' way to deal with it.ha ha ha.

after band practice i went for lunch with yethong and yingying.that was much better,since i went to yingying's house and had fun with music that was enjoyable!i played yingying's violin,and gosh it was so expensive!she told me it cost $800,when my own was only $320.that's less than half of her superb violin!the tone was very very nice,something i couldn't have belted out with my own.however,rusty skills from missing playing made me sound only too awkward.

yethong was fantastic on the piano.she played Pachbel's Canon and a Richard Clayderman song.it was really very nice,sounded like something the lounge pianist you'd find in some classy hotel would play.yingying said her sister was jealous,because yethong could play the piano so much better than her.

okay today was still rough.i'm too tired to do anything more but eat dinner and mope around the house.

my feet ache

2005-11-29T04:18:00.000-08:00

im back!and i think im kinda in the mood to write!

band camp was pretty okay.well i'm not that sure because i'm only in my first year yet.so..heh.

there was this relay game on the first day and it was really gross in some parts.there was one segment where you had to bite the apple in the basin of water,which meant dipping your head in with your hands to yourself.also,a few people have done the same thing before you'd do so.the water was salty and i could taste the apple when i bit it.eww.

and there was another horrid one where there was a container of flour buried under was a load of polo sweets.you had to bite out the sweet too.it was a bad experience for me because i kept laughing and going 'heeheehee' and all the flour flew up.it even entered my eye so i think i actually howled.my face was all white and my face looked like a geisha's!i got smeared on the face by the seniors too,good thing it was before i washed up!and i didn't get into a crazy flour fight unlike some others who looked like they aged 50 years after getting out of it ha!

that rounds up the first day's activities..before night fell.

i knew they were going to try spook us but i couldn't help but feel afraid because i'm still a stranger to the dark yelp!we played this game about 'vampires' who were actually leaders with the black rubbish bag worn as a cape.and we had to wander around the school,looking for clues.it didn't help one bit when they practically switched off all the lights!i was already kinda freaked out when suddenly RuiXian the leader/vampire popped out in front of us from the little doorway to the instrument room.it was so freaky cos she went growling i think.well as for me i screamed very very loudly.Candy my senior was really not fazed at all because she kinda ripped the bag from the leader and did something i don't really remember.after that i shone my torch at every dark corner in the school building i could find.

well actually RuiXian was the only one who tried scaring people.the other leaders just ran around or hid somewhere not doing alot of things to scare others.however,i still whined repeatedly till the whole game ended.yay!

maybe i was still scared because i couldn't eat a bite at supper.

i think the events on the first day are prime and the ones today are kinda boring,because we were all sleepy after only 5h+ of rest.the sec4 seniors came too and one of them gave me and YetHong chocolates!

alright this is the longest post in a thousand eons i've ever written so good-bye!

2005-11-24T18:20:00.000-08:00

cca camp on monday.i'm not awaiting it.

enthusiastic green.

2005-11-15T18:16:00.000-08:00

ooh yay!

as part of section outing,my leader is planning for us to watch Harry Potter and The Goblet Of Fire!!isn't that fantabulous?

the weird thing is that,though she's going to use Internet booking,she's trying to get tickets for the show on 17th November..which is it's opening date!

we might not get the tickets,but i think it'd be better than watching it on November 17th in the front seat craning my neck up.heh

probably some other day,though.i love Harry Potter!

and i'm going to change my blogskin.to a Harry Potter one!

2005-11-13T22:40:00.000-08:00

haha this is pretty hilarious,you'll see!

just then,i was talking to my online friend from canada.

after a while,he excused himself because he had to eat breakfast!

and i've eaten my dinner about 2 hours ago!

isn't this so very amusing??

i don't like you.

2005-11-10T21:12:00.000-08:00

well well well..how many days has it been?6 i rather think so.

the things i do nowadays have become stagnant all of a sudden,when the holidays came and changed my lifestyle.all i do is mope around the house,reading books, watching TV or go online.the only saving grace from becoming isolated is going out for band practices,and there happens to be 4 of them this week.O save my ragged soul!

i haven't been starting on work yet..schoolwork and my online business of which less than 5 people know about.it's extremely private,and i wouldn't like you to know something about it anyway.

the holidays are not fun really.i still have to wake up at a restricted time and i don't find myself doing the things i like most..each time i attend band practice there is always this sinking feeling of dread.i don't find myself happy about spending 3 hours in the school with the tutors.

nevermind.i don't like writing about myself anyway.i'm not an especially interesting topic at all,and my daily goings and gadding-abouts are entirely ambiguous.

till next time..which wouldn't come too soon.

long time there

2005-11-04T19:58:00.000-08:00

hmm.

didn't post for some time..removed the last one.oh well.

school's out.ho-hum.doesn't feel great and all.there's loads of homework and starting from next week i shall have to attend CCA 3 times a week all the way to december i think.and there's even a camp.somehow i don't like the word 'camp'.brings me recurring images of over-enthusiastic this and that.

well i didn't have to step out of the house this whole week.declined all invitations to go out.i'm simply not in the mood.not quite ready to meet everyone once more.

it's nice having time alone.. not to ponder over the sad happenings.but just doing things alone,not with anyone else,it's pretty good.sometimes i just want to lock myself up and not have contact with everyone for as long as i like.

i don't know why.. i can't help feeling sad sometimes, over nothing at all.

it's just me,i suppose.

Reminiscence

2005-10-26T21:29:00.000-07:00

music: A Moment Like This - Kelly Clarkson(i know it's been 4 years but i still like it!)

oh yay i went out with Alex and Shinny today hoopla!yay yay it's so funny we kept making fun of some people and imitating them,usually ending up in the two of them roaring and me smiling away like an idiot because i must look demure and 5 teeth on my lower jaw are crooked yelp!

whatever it is i love them so much i really can't imagine what'd happen to me if i didn't have them at all in the first place!yipee i hope we can go out again during the holidays!

there was band today.ah shucks i really don't see the meaning of my attendance..they didn't even mark my name!what's more less than half the people turned up i should've skipped it and have more time with my two darlings..oh well.

oh and i saw Ms Ng at Juncion8 today.eeee so awkward i was in uniform and she immediately looked at me!so i just stared at the floor and faster escaped to the front haha.well it'd look real awkward if i suddenly said 'Good Afternoon Ms Ng' in the shopping centre eh?haha i really don't know.

well even more things happened yesterday,and i was hoping to publish it all,but while finishing up the blog post yesterday the computer just went all black..because i was using the faulty Windows98.hmm i must say i didn't scream,but just muttered 'damn' to myself.whohooo anger management haha!

okay i'm feeling very bored here i think i shall cease sharing my life with others right now bye-bye!

2005-10-24T17:03:00.000-07:00

music: Shy That Way - Jason Mraz and Tristan Prettyman

it's Monday and i didn't go to school!haha it's Promotion Day!so great i just relaxed the whole day.but guess what?i forgot to wash my shoes!!!!!it's horrid now the sides are all black because i've been sitting too much on the floor of the sports hall.damnit!i hate going for those talks and programmes i don't even remember what one of them's like out of the 22389530 ones.

Life's pretty boring now..especially when the weather sucks!it really does because it's not windy at all and the sun is setting soon i don't even get to see an oh-so-pretty sight.and on tuesday wednesday and thursday i cannot go out!rargh CCA for the next 3 consecutive days!tuesday and thursday's practices end at 6pm.6pm damnit!and on Wednesday we'll most probably watch another movie that will make me end up sleeping.i slept the first time i just had to!i'm being completely honest here.i think that the movie sucks and watching it wouldn't benefit us in any way at all!it's just so ridiculous.

okay i'm feeling pretty pissed now all of a sudden maybe because the weather totally sucks.my back is also aching and the computer screen is too bright and i'm very whiny.

i also suddenly feel like switching my site.i've already thought up of a new name but i've just too many memories left here i can't bear to just delete them all.say,maybe i'll copy and paste all the old posts in the new site.this is my 87th post i foresee alot of clicking if i continue with my stupid plan.

still,the site name is ridiculously trashy...sounds kinda appealing to the bimbo girl who just <3s reading Teenage eh?

NO i am not pinpointing anyone it just went into my mind and stuck there because it is just too relevant thank you very much.

i shall take my leave now.Don't, have a good day(since i'm not having one).

yay i'm still happy

2005-10-22T22:47:00.000-07:00

woolala i am back.well not really 'cos i'm always there when you need me!

but things are really sweet now.i get to sleep late and wake up late!and the big plus is that there's no school on Monday it's just so lovely!

well i've really nothing i'd like to write here but i've just adopted the custom of writing everyday it makes me feel better!

ho-hum.

the fields are lush green faraway
grass a dewy emerald today
tread upon the carpet on tip-toe
your senses as keen as a doe

breathing in the fresh air
your lungs in a foreign lair
taking in scents of greenery
woody,musky,flowery

we turn up to the top and see
count the clouds one, two, three
in the sky of azure blue
unwaken happiness will come to

walking on the dewy threads
this beautiful scene stuck to our heads
what a perfect day it is to us
how i wish it'd forever last!

-Me.

2005-10-21T21:20:00.000-07:00

i've nothing to blog about today!no really i don't quite wish to discuss anything with myself today.

i was cold and distant and quiet today,due to..unforseen reasons.yeah.

don't know why,but i don't want to open up today.so i shall pen something pretty!

i am faraway today
in a closed land
capsuled
one of my dreams

bottled up

don't you love it?well even if you don't i do!yes darling i am still full of praise of myself and this is unlikely to wear off soon.just catch me when my actions threathen to turn out foolish and let me crash back to reality!

i shall entertain myself.behold!

What If...

01. What if someone cheated on you?
i'd get really angry and start snubbing everyone i see till they can't stand me no more.too bad by then the anger would probably vanish..so the answer is a bad end for me.

02. What if you cheated on someone you loved?
i wouldn't.no no seriously!!but if i actually did i'd live in guilt for maybe 3 days or so and then vomit out the truth.

03. What if someone you hated died?
i wouldn't be so happy and all because a death is seriously a big deal.well i guess i'd just shut up and remain indifferent.and no i will resist the temptation and not throw confetti in the air and start dancing.

04. What if your friend made out with your boy/girlfriend?
i really can't make up my mind.friendship and love,which weighs heavier to me?friendship lasts,but it's just like the pale scent of a flower compared to the rich fragrance from the golden rose of love.can anyone help me here??

05. What if there was a lit cigarette right in front of you now?
stomp on it and stomp away.yeah i wouldn't bother to help that smoker throw that little stick of cowdung.

06. What if you could change your name?
i want a unique name,but still nice at the same time.i don't quite like names in other languages,though some in Irish would be lovely.for one thing i certainly wouldn't be called Tan Xin Lin.

07. What if you knew you'd die tomorrow?
i'd cry all day and in the evening i'd try to clear up my mind and write a will with the words all splotchy because of tears.well i don't have much so i'll just give away my books,money and violin away to the people i love.that's all i have,really.though i have many other things,they are of no worth to others because they don't quite understand.i'll let them be burnt and be tossed into my urn with my ashes.really i'd rather be cremated than buried.or be turned into a jewel?really i read it somewhere it's simply fascinating.i'd want to be an emerald!i love that color.

08. What would you buy if you had eighty dollars right now?
MR. A-Z of course,and some other nice CDs.the reamining money i'd save it all up.

09. What if you saw ten dollars drop from a person onto the ground?
return it of course.i'm not a sneaky cheat.

10. What if there was a full can of beer in front of you right now?
sell it to some drunkard for loads of money cos he wouldn't be clear how much cash then stashed in his wallet would be gone!

11. What is the most random thing you are thinking of right now?
footprints and the sun.

12. What song have you had stuck in your head lately?
All The Love In The World by The Corrs.recently i've been taking to listening to their music.quite nice indeed,and they're Irish!

13. What if it was either you sending your friend to prison or saving yourself?
of course i'd be the one on the suffering end.i'm really a selfless person deep inside,like everyone else.it would take nothing but betrayal of soul to let your loved one suffer!

okay i'm finally done my back aches alot i shall sign off now till next time!

2005-10-20T21:47:00.000-07:00

oh.i forgot.

rather recently i have been praying everyday.to God.:D i feel so happy nowadays.don't know why!but it has been lasting!life is just so, so sweet now..like fairy dust sprinkled over the colourful top of a flower,enhancing essence,sweetness and delicacy!yes i do cherish these days and my lovely friends.

okay maybe no one gets what i'm saying.

i've never felt so happy before,never ever so contented.i've overcome all the obstacles and pushed myself to the front.it all paid off,and the reward is showered on me and i just feel so happy and euphoric... so blessed.

this is the first.life was never so meaningful for me.though i don't really have a goal i'm working towards to,i feel accomplished.like i've done what i could've,and my potential is finally shown i'm so relieved that i really have the ability to excel,for it has always been lurking somewhere in the murky shadows.

now,just one word to tell it all,what i'm feeling.

Thankful.

2005-10-20T20:02:00.000-07:00

hello!i couldn't use the good computer yesterday so i settled for the horribly horrid one.i only describe it so because 10minutes into the internet it went auto shut off.so there!also i wasn't in a great mood or anything and didn't feel very well,so i went to sleep real early at 9pm.i think something's rather wrong with me because on the bus to school today i thought i smelled blueberry morning(post cereal yum!) but actually someone was sucking this grape gummy behind me.do blueberry and grape have much in common?the other thing is that i was extremely tired and my mind would usually clear up by recess under these circumstances.but i was still lethargic and almost dozed off during band,which was around 4pm.i dunno really,they might sound insignificant to you but i have a funny feeling that it's not minor.oh well.

yesterday was kinda sweet,in the morning especially.we received papers again!i am simply so proud of myself for topping the class in Literature.yes i mean it i am really so proud i walked around the whole school screaming 'Lit. rocks!' maybe this is the consequence of realisation that i had edged out everyone in the class in this academic sense.haha i doubt you get my drift.

history was not very pleasing.actually i was disappointed.only an A2!but nevermind it is still a nice mark!

today was simply horrid.yeah!we had to sit(cross-legged ow that hurts i get leg cramps you know) through 4 talks about things that i can barely remember.and i didn't get to play enough card games i just love gambling so!

alright i am going to clear up some stuff pretty soon then go off to sleep.i'm really tired nowadays been coming home around 7pm for the past consecutive 3 days it really drains me.

ha ha i doubt you actually get me.it must be my fatigue.

i hope it would still be YAY tomorrow

2005-10-18T19:54:00.000-07:00

haha i've not been writing for 8 days.i'm not ashamed of it because i blog when i feel like it,and the number of times i feel like that has been dwindling...

we received papers yesterday!oohlala i topped the class in Higher Chinese!AAAHH i'm so pleased i got a B4!!YEAH i know you must be sniggering at me for being so proud of such a low score you MIGHT consider obscene,but you are indeed forgetting that Higher Chinese is the toughest mother tongue in cedar,and last years MSG for the sec1s was 6.0!i've received a 4!how about that eh?also,i only received a PASS for my PSLE and wasn't supposed to be qualified to study Higher Chinese but still i went on thick-skinned and beat ~~everyone else~~ when the teacher kinda expected me not to do well.and i actually passed my Ying Yong Wen for the first time in this year HAHA it is just too timely!the ugly fact is that there are only 6 people who study higher chinese in this class.no matter what it is still a great deal to me,at least.oh yeah the mark is 62.5!

yay the other happy fact is that I PASSED MATH!aaaaaaaaaaaaah i got a 60!!!isn't is just superb?i seriously can't describe how tense i was when i received my Section B and calculating my marks.I PASSED PASSED PASSED CLEAN AND CLEARLY!!that was all i could think of,because these 7 words were enough to bring hours of euphoria!

well it really isn't good at all to get a B4 for mathematics but i've been failing since the first term,so i'm really proud of myself i wouldn't fail the overall mathematics hoorah!

english was really bad.of course i didn't fail,but the mark was unexpectedly horrid.oh well,i can't have everything.doing better than expected for my waterloo(s) are enough to drive away negative thoughts for 48 hours yes i am still extremely happy!

today rocked.yicen and inez started building houses out of the poker cards i brought.and we used the whole deck to make this really big one it was plainly superb 6 of us (me charlotte inez huijun michelle and yicen) took a picture with it in my phone!someday soon i'd take my digital camera and take a picture of the screen to upload it on this computer.seriously when you see it your lips will just automatically curve upwards because all of us were feeling very happy and excited it was all caught on the camera!

alright i've written alot now!hope i've brought some joy because no matter what you say ain't gonna bring me down todayyyyyyyyyyyyyy argh i just can't help because being a happy girl feels so good!

2005-10-10T20:09:00.000-07:00

HELLO!EOYs are over praise Jesus!okay i'm not a christian or anything but i'm just simply so hyper because *ahem* I DON'T HAVE TO ATTEND SCHOOL TILL NEXT MONDAY HAHA!

i'm repeating this for the nth time:yicen is the crappiest person on earth.
yet another evidence to prove it:while in the cinema with my six other friends watching a movie,she turned around and told me there were many cedarians around.

GETTIT?i think it's pretty hilarious,but of course it only goes this way because i laugh at the slightest things, even though they might not be funny at times!

alright i'm not going to type much because my life is a bore.

au revoir!(okay i hate french,but can anyone tell me the bulgarian version of this?)

Hah!

2005-10-06T15:12:00.000-07:00

haven't been writing for rather long..cos i've been studying hard.i hope to get 3 A1s.HAHA FAT HOPE XINLIN.

nothing much happened..just that we've been rubbing our nose raw to the grind.oh and we received our class photos today.i shan't comment on how others appear to be.yes yes I'M THE FAIREST OF THEM ALLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!mwahaha i'll try acting as a ghost end of this month to scare the heck outta you.

i shan't talk about today.i shan't talk about the past few ones.

actually,i don't really seem to like writing in this blog nowadays it's such a cliche.pooh!just like how i'd hate you if you listen to Bella Luna and behave as if you've been a Jason Mraz fan ever since Waiting For My Rocket To Come.

open bracket colon byebye

2005-10-01T13:59:00.000-07:00

whoo.changed my blogskin.so what?no one cares anyway.

i went out yesterday with yicen,inez and mingee.cos yicen was the birthday girl!me and mingee decided to act cute at first,but then i couldn't stop and was rather annoying.hahaa yicen bought a small cheesecake and got one mini candle.however,there wasn't a lighter anywhere!hahaa i still made yicen get a candle for she couldn't wish she'd be with Lin ZhiYing anymore.

in the end,we went to MacDonalds and ate lunch where inez decided to take a fry and dip in chilli sauce then stick it right in the middle of her cake as the candle.we really did that you know,and coincidentally there was another birthday girl there,though we don't know them who celebrated her birthday.

well i saw this thing which i shouldn't have seen.i wanted to scream,because the DISGUSTING sight of it alone spoilt my day.but whatever,i can't have everything in life anyway.

i went back and decided to play maple.i got ~~angry~~ with 2 people.i don't like to get angry,and people dislike seeing my nasty sight even more.

you'd never know what i did to resolve the anger.ROAR.

to anyone who wants to taunt me about not having a half-day in school because i am already 13,i'm telling you it is JUST TOO BAD because you will have one day to study less in the ever-moving academic pace of life so you will have LESS TIME TO STUDY and end up having a WORSE future than mine!

I'm So Nice!!!

2005-09-22T17:02:00.000-07:00

charlotte told me to blog.so i shall!

i have a very big ego.and it was fed today!

my teacher marked my composition with the highest results in class!she told me to read it in front of everybody.i didn't want to,i knew some people would start sniggering and all those behaviour induced by jealousy would start to surface in an ugly manner.

but i don't really mind about that!

after i finished,the teacher told to the whole class that the word limit was 400-800 words,but i only wrote 400(estimated).she even said that it would be better if i wrote more!

TRALALA see my power!

Hiatus

2005-09-13T20:28:00.000-07:00

Dear Readers of this blog no one visits,

hello hello.time is so precious now.my end-of-years are starting next friday,and the next exams will take place over every three days or so.scary?i'll then taste what's it like to be constantly living in fear.

however,i want to pull through.i am already improving.but it is alas,not enough.there is definite room for improvement.i am certainly not doing well at all for my Mathematics.hard i try,but the notion that i'm plainly not cut out for it keeps disrupting my thoughts.

i know some evil people want me to continue hogging the computer and flunk all my subjects.but i declare to you shallow people that i will never succumb to your will.wonder why i'm writing this?i just reckoned it was the only way i could actually communicate to you.to each his own they all say...

i've written so much.any clue on the gist of this post?

if you're really slow and are a dumbo,be glad i'm giving you the answer:

I'M GOING ON HIATUS DEARIE.

glad i've straightened that out.now i can cram in 6hours of studying everyday peacefully without wondering if my invisible readers are fretting cos my new writings are transparent,just like them.

no love,
Xin Lin

2005-09-11T17:23:00.000-07:00

i went to Marche today.

wow,now i feel like a sybarite.

so you'd better Shut your trap

2005-09-10T23:38:00.000-07:00

i get really angry and all at home when my temper gets lost.i go so screechy it scares people till they cry.however it is unlike me in school.

what's that you say?calling me a coward?

i just reckoned that you wouldn't be pleasured to see what i'm really like.

2005-09-08T20:58:00.000-07:00

RWARGH i was late for band today!

never,ever before!wait,scratch that.me and huijun were late once.but only by a few seconds!today,i was late by MORE THAN 40 MINUTES!!!!!!what an embarrasssment!i thought today's practice would resume to the normal time,at 8.45am.but it stuck to Tuesday's schedule,which was 8.15!and what's more,i was presumably late.i thought only by a few minutes,because i stepped into the wet building at say 8.50am?but i was wrong wrong wrong!it was such a horrible feeling when i heard everyone playing the scales as i went up the stairs three at a time.

i just stood outside dumbly looking idiotic waiting for everybody to finish playing the scales before i made my timely appearance.

i didn't warm up,and i couldn't reach all the high notes and blahblah.we played Phantom.it almost killed poor me!so darn difficult i'm really slow up there the chromatic notes made void sense to me.

when we had our break,i was telling yethong that i missed both my bus and train!hence the extreme lateness.yeah hell maybe i've been a bad bad girl so this is just my just desserts.it happens often,and i like to bitch about others.i should just shut my mouth.remind me to do so,if you're my friend!watch out if you're not... because ~~i'm feeling angsty nowadays~~ i'll start screaming in front of your hideous face till you start crying and blubbering all your words out.

it's all about karma baby!i'll pay dearly for my great moment of fun and satisfaction..but i don't really mind!

now there's still a great load of homework undone,and i'm trying to continue my literature essay about sweet memories while i type this thing with my over-excerised fingers from pressing the second and third valve too hard this morning.

ggrrr i don't know why i'm not studying at all.good thing i'm not going out tomorrow,so i practice abstination from these technological sins and study like how an obedient child always does.

alright now i'll try to be nice and study...because studying doesn't allow me to swear!

bye-bye!

i took a damned long time to write this post because i just felt like writing though nothing happened.sheesh it's all about empty words,this one...

2005-09-06T20:25:00.000-07:00

i went to school today, for my holiday band practice.well, all to be said was that my mouth just couldn't fit comfortably in the mouthpiece.and i pushed myself so hard i couldn't even reach a G at my lowest point.ah,too much crescendo.

then i went out with yethong!yipee we went to Heartland Mall.did nothing much there.we were just keen enough to eat lunch and walk around.

there was supposed to be some fancy post here with flowery passages of how i thought today was like(since it was not a typical one),but then again,you can't have everything.

on a lighter note,i've decided to resume writing,after my 'little' hiatus of 2 months,of within i hadn't been able to produce anything worth reading.well,wish me luck that i'll cut the red ribbon to opening a new story sooooooon!

New Blogskin

2005-09-05T22:11:00.000-07:00

changed blogskin,because the old one suddenly had fonts jutting out of it,and i was too lazy to find out wht went wrong.so i found this pretty one with columns(yay!).

i think i did a pretty Okay job of doing it up.again i edited a minor part of the whole blogskin,this time the posting column.didn't like the font colour and how the dates were placed,so the went and were replaced.

added more banners.i know some of them might be oh-so popular with you and your friends and you've been reading/watching them for a long time,but i'm ultra-positive that i've discovered them first,or maybe even,told some of my friends about it and they spread it to you.so there!

yipee i love students' sketchpad.discovered in late july now...so i'm one of the first!

3 Things

2005-09-03T16:03:00.000-07:00

I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah

Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you
To a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Maybe I have been here before
I know this room, I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

There was a time
You let me know
What's real and going on below
But now you never show it to me, do you?
And remember when I moved in you?
The holy dark was moving to
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Maybe there's a god above
And all I ever learned from love
Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
And it's not a cry you can hear at night,
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

-

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid Personality Disorder:	Very High
Schizoid Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Schizotypal Personality Disorder:	High
Antisocial Personality Disorder:	Low
Borderline Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Histrionic Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Narcissistic Personality Disorder:	High
Avoidant Personality Disorder:	Low
Dependent Personality Disorder:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:	High
-- Take the Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Info --

-

carving pencils is fun.

Teachers' Day

2005-09-01T17:14:00.000-07:00

oh,yesterday we all went back to gy.me,qiulin,aqila,lisian and beishan.kinda weird actually.almost everyone's changed.

i never expected everyone to stay the same.

sure,i do accept changes in everyone.

but there is this really awkward feeling between me and you.

beyond words... one look explains it all.

Science!

2005-08-30T20:42:00.000-07:00

whopee-do i topped my class in SPA!

Day Out!

2005-08-29T21:40:00.000-07:00

WARNING:my writing is extremely weird today because i'm having this splitting headache which has taken control over me.

yay i went out with Alex and Shin today!haha i bought a Happy Meal and now i'm playing with Bijou and her plastic 'falls'!

whopee today rocked.uh,mainly,cos i'm having a headache,and yethong told Mrs Quek about me.my God i feel so embarrassed.how am i going to attend chinese class tomorrow?

okay nevermind about that.yethong and i tried to design for the band-tee!ha ha ha we are such biased people.because the present tee has a treble clef and we are reading the bass clef we drew a super big bass clef on the design and no treble!we almost wanted to write 'eupho rocks!'

this is an empty post.somehow i just feel like writing,because i just have this feeling that i might not be online so often in the near future...

but this isn't a goodbye.

Cheers for Shinny!

2005-08-27T17:30:00.000-07:00

SHINNY IS COMING TO CEDAR NEXT YEAR!

:)

Royston Tan

2005-08-26T18:02:00.000-07:00

Royston Tan came to my school today.you know,the super-popular film-maker?

he showed us 4 short films,and they blew my mind away.the films could really connect with the audience and they would understand,even though we might not have experiences like the characters did in the short films.i loved the third one,24 hours.the guy doing the voice-over was speaking Korean,and my heart melted.yeah whatever i sound so lame.

Royston Tan said that he might be coming to Cedar again with the Careless Whisperer!yayy i like to see interesting people like him!

okay,the moral of this post is....Royston Tan is sooo talented!*gushes*

Bandd

2005-08-25T21:55:00.000-07:00

had band today.probably the only thing worth mentioning today.

ha ha i'm being very proud and my ego was fed today!si wei said that she was very impressed by my playing!wowww i am so damned satisfied with my playing!but i want more!more more more more more more more!!!!!!!!!!!!

yes i'm being obnoxious here.and i like it.i want to drive all of you away from my blog and never visit it again.

i do mean it,to most people i know.

What?! And now you All come out like I've exactly predicted?!

2005-08-24T17:52:00.000-07:00

i don't mean to sound angry or anything,but what i wrote in the last post is all too true.

look,obviously i am at my weakest point now,when i can just cry at the drop of a hat,and now when i let it all out you All finally appear with encouraging words.when i had been feeling much worse but didn't let it all out,you never noticed.is everyone that blind to the surroundings, or is it just me?

but still i can't help facing the bare and ugly truth laid in front of me.it's just so true i actually can not believe myself.

all these words just come flooding in...~~especially when i don't need them~~. i want some time alone,to make myself all right once more,for i doubt i can ever do it with people by my side ever again... i've grown numb to every thing.all thanks to everyone.

i know i'm different.i do understand what most of you are thinking, and i know that you don't.i'm just... different.

i took a very long time to type this out.i had initially written alot,but it would truly sound too hurtful,so this entry is actually incomplete.

it's just so funny how things turn out this way.

Can't Take It No More

2005-08-23T20:27:00.000-07:00

it's all like a race, one too long.

There are always intervals where i can take a break.First confident that everyone'll be there,but each time i push myself to the destination,my eyes greet nothing but thin air.

I'm losing will to go on as every second ticks by.and now,at my very weakest point i've finally came to a halt,and everyone is there all of a sudden to congratulate me and try to make joy.

but I've been through too many of these times when false hopes only disappoint too terribly,and now it dawned on me that I don't need any of you no more.

Hurt by your nonchalence and lack of sympathy,I've turned into an individual who finds it hard to be normal already.I've learnt to comfort myself and go on no matter how my heart gets shattered.

That's it.The race is over,whether I've finished running it or not.I am out,I'm giving up... and there is nothing you can do about it.

BAD DAYYY

2005-08-22T16:32:00.000-07:00

i've been listening to this song called Bad Day.really really nice!the lyrics just relate so well..

today was pretty okay.i'm slacking.haha i don't feel like studying for hisory and practicing my violin.

we had d&t today.quite fun actually, because i like to file my wood to make it smooth!however it still is very rough.everyone keeps talking about the teacher.what's so great?i don't think he's so funny or anything.that's all i'm saying.i'm not discriminating the teacher or anything,but everyone gets so excited over some of the things which are actually unimportant.

oh,and i'm not that type of coward who comes over to her blog to complain about everybody behind their back.once again,i am not pinpointing anybody.but indeed,there are definitely people like that.

i did my er... chinese oral presentation today.i was so horribly scared because i failed the one last semester.i had a 4/10 then.but you know what?all thanks to huijun's superb script we pulled it off rather well and my score doubled!kinda miraculous?not really,cos our teacher's generous with the makrs nowadays.we like scoring well and she doesn't like to mark us low,so we're both happy!yay!

okay nothing else happened today.kinda boring.but i told yicen that i'll grow up to be a beggar of some sort,being the middle child.see,the elder child and the youngest gets all the attention.the elder one gets everything new while the youngest gets everything he/she desires because the parent thinks that it is simply too pathetic to get things 'third-handed'.while the second child gets all hand-me-downs and is also neglected all the time due to all the attention on the other siblings.in-nourished in the terms of love and care,he/she rebels and does all sorts of stupid things to grab attention,but always to no avail.this way his/her life is ruined.so the middle child would end up again as a scum of society and stay in dark allies,living on leftover big macs and happy meals.

pathetic?i might end up a typical victim.please sympathise and give me loads of money.okay joking only.but i do mean it about the last paragraph.

A Week Too Long

2005-08-19T20:36:00.000-07:00

okay i am feeling in the mood to blog.so i shall, about the past few days.i'll go through them one by one.

Monday
i got all tensed up because i was experiencing the first day of this crazy week gone all wrong.we had P.E. well we didn't run, and i think that ACES DAY actually rocks,because at least i'm not subject to torture during a whatyoucallnormal P.E. lesson unlike the other lucky,lucky classes.well something happened which made me grimly satisfied,but now i couldn't really care less.i thought that day wasn't going to be so bad after all but when i came home after spending 3 hours in school for ipw, my mother told me that my violin teacher just called.because my exam will be on september the 5th,i will be having violin lessons twice a week on tuesdays and wednesdays.i was feeling rather insulted,because i was taking the same exam as this stupid primary 5 kid and he could only make it on those days.did they even give a bloody damn about me?!pur-lease why should i turn my timetable upside-down because of a stupid kid?!if he can't make it on Friday(my usual lesson day) then it is his shit,not mine.i had no choice, so i had to get an excuse letter to skip band on tuesdays for 3 consecutive weeks.then i practiced the violin non-stop for 3 hours.did i mention that i had 5^ different types of homework to complete by the next day?i slept at 12midnight.

Tuesday
well i skipped band, and spent loads of time practising my violin again because i totally hated my tone and wanted to get a Distinction.hell i was too tense.but i've improved immensely in my playing,everyone knows.then i decided to slack and do my homework one day later because it was to be handed up on thursday.also,i was rushing out my ipw presentation so i slept late at 10pm.

Wednesday
argh!this day sucked too,because of the math lesson.i didn't write my statements for my questions so i got scolded and had to do full corrections.my group actually didn't present our ipw when we were scheduled to present everything that day,but there was a time constraint and our powerpoint was disgustingly long.20 slides can you believe it?!i'm going to cut away all those stupid excess slides.we are now due to present ours on Term 4 Week 2.

Thursday
we had 2 tests today.english descriptive composition and science practical.i screwed up my science practical.completely.because i totally forgot what a SPA is supposed to be like as my primary school apparently thought that SPAs weren't necessary and decided to do away with them last year.english descriptive composition was alright.i was desperate to do well so i think i got sorta carried away while writing.i got into a bad mood for about 2 hours after my SPA... until BAND!

YAY ms sia came!!she was so so so so so so so humourous!!ahaha there are just so so so so so so so so many funny things that she said that if i listed all of them down i'd have exceeded the word limit for this post(if there had been one).alright i like ms sia alot!yay i hope she comes to conduct everytime.don't like the rest of them.pity i've gotta miss the tuesday session.STUPID PRIMARY SCHOOL KID MARCUS!!!

yeah so i got pretty happy after that and decided to forget about all my homework until 10pm when i just remembered i've the history workbook to finish.the test was cancelled!postponed to tuesday because they teachers thought our brains weren't fully immersed about religion,philosophies and source-based question answer formats!so yeah that's about it!happy happy day!

Friday
nothing much happened today.rather uneventful indeed.i could have called it a peaceful schoolday... if not for the d&t lesson.i really hate pro-DESKTOP or whatever it's called.whats the point of it i do not see at all!!i don't think we're going to use them when we grow up to jobs like maybe a toilet cleaner eh?

i might sound biased against it,which is because i have already got marks deducted for not knowing my work well.heck it!i don't expect to pass.how i wish we could cook for the whole day.ha ha R&R!!i don't mind cooking uncooked carrots and onions and flat potato balls and letting my oil jump if i can sustain my A1 in that subject!funny thing how i ever got that since i still cannot cook a packet of instant noodles today.heh!i'm not saying i'll take f&n in future though.

-

i think my literature teacher is very happy nowadays.she always comes into the classroom smiling and laughing.what's up?our literature essay's gonna be easy for us?so she's happy that we'd supposedly score well?i hope so.

i have a diary-x blog and 2 diaryland blogs.maybe i shall switch.i'd like more privacy.diaryland provides users with a user and password promt upon visiting the blog.so it'd be so much harder to crack the codes.those javascript password promts can be cracked by many people,so i don't trust them.diary-x provides locked posts,so i can decide what to let you see and what not to.however,i dunnoe what's the password for the protected posts!argh is it my password for diary-x?

i've evaluated.so i'll be switching to diary-x when the need for privacy gets even stronger.i don't like the name blogspot too.sound so IT.bleargh.

i know this is a long post.the longest i've ever written.because this week is full of angst and fatigue.good-bye.

i am nobody's friend

2005-08-18T20:28:00.000-07:00

i am very, very exhausted.tired.worn out.fatigued.

somehow,i don't want to type out things here.yeah i should go to my journal.

just maybe, i'll write a post on how it had all been this horrible,disastrous,draining week.

i don't really care that there is a d&t test tomorrow.i'm planning to fail.completely i don't understand the point of this what-you-call-subject shit.i don't give a bloody damn,gettit?

like charlotte, i am planning to shift my blog to diary-x.i want locked posts!i am desperate for the code.yeah whatever.

-

band was fun today!haha i like ms sia she is so funny.pity i have to miss the next practice because of my violin lesson with the other candidate.stupid marcus.how busy can a primary school kid get to ruin my schedule?!

yeah i know,i'm only taking grade4. that's what you get when you start learning your second musical instrument at age 9.

i want to go out tomorrow.not to catch a movie,but just to roam the streets as a happy person once more.

i don't care if it's momentary or not.happiness never lasts, so these fleeting moments might just turn out to be not of the mock.

i'm drowning myself in self-pity.

oh, whatever.

roar

2005-08-13T12:59:00.000-07:00

haven't updated for a few days.nothing much happened.sigh i can't go visit alex at j8.bleargh.

homework sucks.good-bye.

2005-08-11T20:57:00.000-07:00

hmm.don't really want to talk about school today.i changed my blogskin!

yay i pretty like it now, because i actually think that it's cool.now where did that word come from?!eurgh i sound like a poser.fine, i shall stop complimenting about this design!seriously the only thing i like about this blogskin are the navigation words ONE TWO THREE FOUR.pretty cool huh, it can actually help you idiots with counting the brain cells in you.

FINE!i can't help feeling angry.brrrrrrrrrrrah i shall stop about stuff like this before everything gets spilled out to you, who are obviously not my confidant. actually,this skin had a very disgusting effect on the links which i absolutely abhore upon sight.so the clever me decided to change the yucky colour codes and i got it right first try.pretty satisfied with the modifications.also i took off all the ugly avatars which are so pointless.

nothing to say here now...
imsorrytohavemadeyouangry.sosorry.ihopeyouwillforgiveme.
oh yah!i ordered the band jacket!omigosh i am so excited!

Shucks

2005-08-10T13:49:00.000-07:00

oh no!school's starting tomorrow and i've only completed half of my homework!i've chinese,science and math left!

i'm thinking of changing my blogskin actually.i don't like swimming pools.

Yikes

2005-08-08T21:14:00.000-07:00

today was extremely bad.argh!

the only good thing was that i watched Charlie and The Chocolate Factory!yes i do know that i am not the only person who has done so but i simply cannot stop gushing over this movie!too bad the seats suck.so i'm going to watch it again!

fact about me:i hate the number 8.

Yay I Am Bored

2005-08-07T15:28:00.000-07:00

helloo everybody!i am very bored!so i shall blog!yes indeed the day is very hot!but i don't want to talk about that!i want to talk about so many of my grammatical errors while writing my posts each and every time i do so!

i always read through my posts after i publish them,but there is always a sentence where the words don't make sense.and they really don't, because they actually sound somewhat bimbotic.gasp!no way am i going to let things become ugly!so i shall go and read through all my previous posts to edit them before YOU get to find out, while listening to Marion Raven's End Of Me!

i do mean it; i am going to edit them.toodles!

A Sad Thing

2005-08-06T15:52:00.000-07:00

i think August will turn out to be a sad month.July was too sad.The good must always comes with the bad.how pathetic life really is!

this month,i foresee a great load of tests.already i have had more than 2 tests this month!and there will be so much more tests to take... because its CA2.gee i almost forgot about it.. no wonder i'm still wondering why there are so many tests nowdays.

i'm thinking of learning html seriously, because i would like to have a blogskin belonging to me.i have only modified a blogskin greatly once, by changing all the colour codes and the background picture,though it turned out quite bad, without Photoshop to help me edit pictures.

anyone teaching me html for free?

I'm Sick!

2005-08-04T20:50:00.000-07:00

yes i am officially ill.with flu!thank goodness it isn't a cough.i hate sore throats so!

okay i've got nothing much to say here and also i'm trying to do everything by 9.30pm so i sleep early!

i love today,cos it rained!

good-night everybody!

Project Superstar

2005-08-03T16:14:00.000-07:00

so i'm back again.at least i know i've got one loyal reader.*beams at shin*

i was studying so hard yesterday tuesday became a complete bore.why study?'cos there's two tests today!yeah science and chinese.just great.

science was okay.i'm not confident of getting pretty marks,because mere passes don't make me happy now... with the exception of math!chinese was difficult... as usual!surprisingly i was super fast and finished 10 minutes before we were supposed to pass it up.i'm afraid i skimmed through
received history marks yesterday.I MUST BE REALLY STUPID.16/20 i could foam at the mouth.damnit.

candyce came to my school again... this time to have a speech instead of signing photos of herself.ha ha she could actually speak english quite well!anyway i'm still sad over Weicong's getting kicked out.SIGH.he's still better than Derrick though!

i know this post is boring.mwahaha

happy belated birthday jessica(luk)!=D

Unconcious

2005-08-01T20:30:00.000-07:00

know what?i think something is going wrong with me, seriously.

i failed my NAPFA ~~standingbroadjump~~ but i don't really give a damn.maybe its because i know i've improved immensely in this area of sports all matters is the big difference eh.or maybe because i did 33 sit-ups!yesss my best-est achievement ever!

i failed my math test.9/20.i could've passed if i weren't such a blind dingbat and take PI as 22/7 unlike the 3.14 which is not the regular PI given in all tests, which also i always use and screw up my exercises.ohwells i'm not shedding any tears over failing it,for i know i'm not born to change the world mathematically.

see? i don't actually care even if i fail or not.~~arg what is happening to me?!~~.

haven't properly blogged in awhile, because i've not much time to pour it out, and also i'm not letting the whole world know how i feel 'cos i've got a diary.yes, one so private you don't even know what it looks like(duh).

okay i'm going away to shelve more secrets in my diary!

cheers.